Posts Tagged ‘no words’
A Conversation with Cooper’s Brother
Last night I was putting my four year old to bed after a particularity hard autism day. I’m to the point in our journey where I can openly admit when autism is hard. I can also admit when motherhood in general is hard. I have two amazing kids. Cooper, my funny, silly, train loving boy, who has autism, is six years old. And his brother Sawyer, is my energetic, smart, curious four year old. Together, they are the perfect storm of joy and chaos. Yesterday, Jamie and I had reached…
Read MoreFirst Steps After Your Autism Diagnosis
After I received Cooper’s diagnosis of Autism I expected things to change overnight. I thought for sure we’d immediately start treatment or medicine or something and we’d begin to fix him. My child was sick. Let’s fix it now. We had an answer. We knew the source. Now we fix it. But that’s not how autism works. It’s not a disease. There is no curing it. There is no solution. There is managing it. There is navigating it. And it is straight up trial and error. If you’ve met one…
Read MoreThis is Beautiful. From a 10-year-old Boy with Autism.
I was scrolling through Facebook today and this post jumped out at me. Let me preface by saying that at one point I liked so many autism type blogs and organizations that now my whole dang news feed is autism. I’ll be honest. That’s depressing. I’ve actually started unfollowing some. It just got to be too much. This one jumped out at me by the National Autism Association. A mother writes, “My 10 year old son with Asperger’s was asked to write a poem for school titled ‘I Am‘ he…
Read MoreI Stopped Talking To Cooper A Long Time Ago
Yesterday Cooper’s Crisis Intervention Social Worker came over for our weekly visit. I have so much to write about that and will at some point. He has given me more valuable advice than any single person, blog, doctor, etc., throughout this journey. He has helped me and my family. And in turn I want to share that with you peeps. But, per the usual, I am days behind at work and working from home in a disgusting house with dirty dishes, dog hair and a pile of laundry that would…
Read MoreWhy Is Honesty Perceived As Negativity?
Hi all, I wanted to share this post from a fellow autism parent and blogger. I read his posts often and rarely has something resonated so deeply with me. Click to read Losing Hope Is Not A Bad Thing by Autism Daddy. When people ask me if I think Cooper is going to talk one day I used to say….YES. And then slowly I switched to MAYBE. And lately I say a no. People usually look at me with a weird look or scold me or tell me to be…
Read MoreA Nonspeaking, Autistic Teenager, Wrote An Incredibly, Profound Letter Explaining Autism
I found another amazing article about autism! While I am struggling to write about our own journey it appears that autism is becoming more and more popular in society. YAY! Every time I open up Facebook I see another article or blog that is changing lives and perceptions. Gordy, a nonspeaking, autistic teenager, wrote an incredibly, profound letter explaining autism….one letter at a time. See his letter below. Here is a link to the full article. What touches me the most is how he talks about the reasons autistic people…
Read MoreNonverbal Autism
I say the words ‘nonverbal autism’ daily. Cooper isn’t just autistic…he is nonverbal. It adds another layer. A really difficult layer. It adds severe frustration. It adds yelling and screaming and sometimes scary, loud noises. It adds a lot of head hitting. And mostly it removes a lot of layers of simple every day interactions. I will spend minutes staring at Cooper and wonder what he is thinking. Wondering if he is happy. Wondering what he would say to me if he could. Wondering if he understands me. Talking devices…
Read MoreThe Isolation
I took the boys to the beach this past weekend to soak up some of the last bits of summer. The beach is kind of our place to go. Cooper does his thing and I play with Sawyer. Cooper loves the sand and will spend hours (if I let him) throwing rocks and sand into the water. So yes, it is best if we go when no one else is there. He doesn’t notice if people are in the way. He just throws. This is the isolation I always talk…
Read MoreThere are Two Kinds of Autism Moms….
Just because shits been getting a little heavy in my world… I had a good nights sleep and woke up to Super Cooper carrying a picture around of our family. That kid has an element of sweetness and love I’ve never seen before. As I made my coffee he grabbed my hand and pointed to my face in the picture, giggled and then hugged my leg. And then my heart actually exploded. Damn you kid. Just when I was going to give up you sucked me back in. …
Read MoreWhat If I Lose Him…
One of my greatest fears is losing Cooper. He’s not necessarily a runner or a wanderer, which are traits highly associated with autism, but still….the fear is real. Cooper will most likely not call out if he is lost. Or answer to his name. Or come running. Or even recognize the fear of being lost. And Cooper looks like a completely average little boy and his disability may net even be recognized. So as Cooper has aged, his dad and I know that there will most likely come a time…
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