Posts Tagged ‘caregiver’
My Little Miracle Baby
I blinked. I closed my eyes for that microscopic second and you grew. Everyday when I watch you float through these halls, a whisper in my heart still sees you as that fragile, tiny soul weighing just a pound coming into this world. I have to pinch myself back to reality watching you giggle so beautifully these days, as my body still tenses, remembering every sound from the ever-chiming hospital monitors. I’ll never forget that warning sound. It’s woven into my being. I look at you, my beautiful boy, and…
Read More“He’s My Brother Mom. My Big Brother”
I have been living the autism parenting life for 12 years now. We are in the middle. We made it through the wondering and worrying. Past the sting of the beginning. I like to say we all settled into this secret world. Me. My husband. Cooper. And his siblings. We don’t know anything different. And we couldn’t imagine Cooper being anything other than himself. We don’t whisper autism. We share it. Loudly. Proudly. And with conviction. He is Cooper. Something happened though. Something I knew would come one day. I…
Read MoreThose Left on the Sidelines
Something that autism has gifted our family is that it has opened our eyes to another world. We get to see the lives of many people affected by disabilities. When we are at a sporting event, camp, or conference for my son filled with children and adults of all different abilities, I see more love and acceptance than anywhere else. I love that both my children are surrounded by it. They have seen the beauty in differences from the beginning. At the same time, I have one foot in the…
Read MoreI Belong to a Boy With Anxiety
Today, I watched you slip away. It happened bit by bit, piece by piece. Slow at first. Then all at once. The elephant in the room got you. The one that steals you from me now and again. The one I refuse to lose you too completely. Anxiety. You have it. Not me. I am just the mother. I am anxiety adjacent. I belong to a boy with anxiety. I see it coming. I feel it and hear it. Other people have no idea. But I do. At 4 am…
Read MoreThe Silver Linings in Living Autism
My son Cody was diagnosed with severe autism at 17 months. As a parent I had no idea what that even meant. I knew no one on the spectrum. I remember sitting in a sterile office while getting our diagnosis watching my little boy wander around the room opening and closing drawers, trying to leave the room while the doctor sat calmly stating what my son’s future would be. Bleak at best. Place him, he said. You’re both young. Place him? We want him with us. We planned for him.…
Read MoreEveryone Deserves the Opportunity to Meet Their Full Potential
Nearly every parent worries about their child’s future. When it comes to my eight year old autistic son I worry on a heightened level. Recently, on a podcast I co-host, Table for Five No Reservations, we have interviewed parents of disabled adults and some disabled individuals themselves. All with different levels of need and in different areas. In some ways it gave me hope about the future but in many others it scared me. A blatant recurring theme hit me. Opportunities and resources astoundingly decrease when people like my son…
Read MoreMy Non-speaking Son Is More
No one has the right to limit or devalue another person. I’ve been thinking about this so much lately. Sometimes I wonder if people realize that they are doing this through their actions, words, and (mis)treatment of others. Sometimes when people learn that my son Stalen is non-speaking, they immediately count him out, ignore him or underestimate him. It’s as if they think the world revolves around being able to speak but that’s simply not the case. Worth is not determined by spoken words. Stalen may be non-speaking but he…
Read MoreThe Ones Who Don’t Bat An Eye
I saw them before they saw me. Cautiously walking into the movie theater. A mom. A son. The boy was big. Taller than me. He had headphones on. His hands danced like my son. He moved fast and slow getting the lay of the land. I greeted her immediately. I knew she was with us. She was kind. She was looking for her people. ‘After our kids get older, it’s so hard to meet people. Once they are in their twenties…’ her sentence trailing off as she followed behind her…
Read MoreHe Joined Us
You see a child lying on the floor watching an iPad in front of the tv. I see progress. I see hopes and wishes happening. I see a child who joined our family for a movie tonight. See, it doesn’t happen all that often. Typically, he stays up on his room watching the history of the great American railway or John Deere tractors. But tonight he came down. He joined us. He brought 3 blankets. And his stories on his iPad. He started on the couch. But prefers the floor.…
Read MorePlease Don’t Stare at My Autistic Son
I’ve been quiet today, no social media posts, spending time observing my son, I took a walk in silence this morning instead of with my AirPods in. Yesterday evening my son Jackson, who was diagnosed at age two with level two autism spectrum disorder, had a really difficult time in the grocery store. He yelled at us in protest, he hit us and the shopping cart, he had behaviors that you wouldn’t expect from an almost nine year old boy that is nearly five feet tall. We’ve learned to remain…
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