Special Needs Parenting
A Diagnosis For My Boy
Four years ago I watched you from my son’s bedroom window as you went back and forth with your colleague in your car– attempting to convince her that my son had autism. You both had just evaluated him. I understood the urgency– I knew that you understood. I didn’t have a fancy job title and didn’t have an outwardly impact on our society. I didn’t possess any powers and my neighbors didn’t know my name. I didn’t have anything to give or anything to spend other than being the best…
Read MoreTo Those Who Turn
To those little ones–those brave little Children–whose shadows stretch longer and higher than the wisest & oldest grown-ups— To those little ones that take my daughter’s hand–wait patiently and without knowing— never give up— on her. Your hearts are bigger and brighter than the biggest apple on the tree. To those little ones who turn my daughter’s head In the right direction– Who lift her chin to make sure that she too gets to see the greatness of your Tower– and how good you did! and to those who see…
Read MoreJust the Way You Are
She looked like a typical little girl, bright curious eyes, adorable curls, a laugh that made you instantly smile. She loved water, spinning in circles and all things Barney. She loved dirt and rocks and playing with bubbles. She would swing on her belly for long periods of time. All these things didn’t seem that out of the ordinary for a two year old. Although when you looked closer; You could see she wasn’t talking or even saying words. Her food choices were extremely limited. Her understanding was inconsistent and…
Read MoreWhen the Sickness Hits
Our whole family is sick. This is the first time that I can remember every family member being sick at the same exact time. Although some seem to have more energy, strength and overall will to survive than others. Some of us take sickness in stride. Some of us do not. See, it’s usually just me and the baby. The other three have these super human immune systems that make me want to secretly cough on my husband’s pillow at night but I don’t because…the man flu. No one wins.…
Read MoreWaiting for a Diagnosis
Before we had our third baby we knew there was a chance. When I googled, it said something like a 25% chance. That number felt high. Really high. So high, that my husband and I fought about it. We cried about it. We debated. We rationalized. We prayed about it. One day I would say let’s go for it. And he would say…we can’t handle two kids with special needs. The next week I would be exhausted from therapies and behaviors and say…we can’t risk it. Two kids is perfect.…
Read MoreStates Require Cameras in Special Education Classrooms
In February I shared a very disturbing story with you about a parent’s worst nightmare. You can read the full story HERE. Amber Pack, a West Virginia mother, sent her 8-year-old severely autistic daughter to class with a recording device after her child didn’t want to go back to school. What Amber heard on the recording was sickening. The tapes uncovered verbal, emotional, and possible physical abuse. Here are a few of the recordings. Instructor #1: “This one I could punch her right in her face.” A different instructor in the…
Read MoreSuccess in Our World
What does success look like in our world? Success that would have NEVER happened six months ago…we would have had to get a babysitter for Cooper, split up, or skipped it. Success is attending an outdoor Easter Egg hunt at our church as a family. And of course wearing a swimsuit because mom mentioned the word ‘waterpark’ this morning. Being near a road and not running into it. Waving at people. Smiling. Talking to people. Sitting for a few minutes inside the church. Safely wandering. Going on the risers and…
Read MoreMy Message to the Moms who Admit It’s Hard
I think moms are amazing. My mom. Your mom. Moms of 1 kid. Moms of 5 kids. Moms of adult kids. Moms of babies. Working moms. Stay-at-home moms. Breastfeeding moms. Formula feeding moms. Moms of angel babies. And especially moms of kids with special needs. They are my moms. My people. I read something recently that said moms of kids with autism should quit whining. And complaining. That they signed up for ‘this’ when they got pregnant. Responses varied from anger to outrage to ‘walk a day in my shoes.’…
Read MoreWhen Jealousy Surprises You
There are many topics in the world of special needs parenting that are taboo to talk about. Self Injurious Behaviors. Aggression. Puberty. Depression. Jealousy. As parents we don’t talk about them out of fear. Fear of being judged by people outside of our world. People that don’t understand. Or we worry that people will think badly of our children. Or our parenting skills. So, we stay quiet. I know this unique isolation all too well. Well, lately I’ve been feeling an emotion that I don’t feel very often. It’s even…
Read MoreThe Real Confessions of Special Needs Parents
Parenting is hard. I think we can all agree on that. You are raising a tiny little human from birth to adulthood without an instruction manual and silently praying they turn out sane and happy. Now imagine if that tiny little human has a diagnosis of some sort. Autism. Cerebral Palsy. Traumatic Brain Injury. The diagnosis could be physical, emotional or neurological. It could be obvious. Or maybe it’s invisible to the outside world. Scary right. You aren’t a doctor. Or a therapist or a physiologist. There is no instruction…
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