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Why Can I Show Empathy to Others but Not My Mom
I went into quite an uproar. I was not thinking about the person who had been up since five-thirty in the morning and couldn’t sleep. I only thought about myself, my needs, and how I didn’t want to do my homework. You see, due to my autism, I am incredibly literal, and that can make some school work harder for me to interpret now that I am climbing the ladder of my college-level classes. I felt insecure and inadequate but I didn’t know these were my feelings. All I knew…
Read MoreWhen It’s Time to Get Healthy
All my life I’ve been in relatively good shape. My weight would fluctuate ten pounds or so but always manageable. A low calorie and exercise worked for me. Even after my first two babies were born. But everything seemed to change after the birth of my third baby. I am 36, tired and I know I need to lose weight. But part of me is too exhausted to care. I can’t seem to find any energy. Three boys, severe autism, stress, and not sleeping through the night is working against…
Read MoreMore Than Just a Dog
Last night our family said goodbye to our chocolate lab, Bauer. It was sudden. It was unexpected. And it was traumatic. He woke up fine. Around mid-day he started having trouble walking. By 4 we were at the vet. At 4:30 the vet told me that he had a splenic rupture caused by a tumor and his tummy was filling with fluid. She told us our options. And then we asked her what she would do if it was her dog. By 6 he was gone. He died in my…
Read MoreWhat if you have a Child with Special Needs?
We were married in the Lutheran faith and had to give up our precious weekend to attend a weekend of pre-marital counseling sessions. It was long and seemed completely unnecessary because we were madly in love. The class was centered on ‘deep’ questions that prompted discussion between couples. How would you handle a partner with an addiction? Or a partner that lies? A partner who gambles? We obviously didn’t have those problems since we were best friends so we breezed through. Oh the arrogance of twenty-something kids. Jamie and I…
Read MoreAm I the Big Brother Mama?
I asked you to watch your brother for a second while I made lunches. Which you gladly agreed too. The first thing you ask for when you come downstairs in the morning or in from outside is your baby brother. I heard you talking to him, like you always do. So sweet. You were telling him all about BeyBlades. And how cool there are. You were hugging him on the couch. Holding him so he wouldn’t fall. Every few seconds you would squish the whoopie cushion. Harbor would laugh hysterically.…
Read MoreA Victory for our Family
Here is the photo that means so much to Jamie and I. We take nothing for granted because we know how hard our son works to do tasks that seem so simple to the world. It’s not as simple as going to church. It’s pressure. It’s putting on special clothes. Riding to a new place with his personal care attendant. Walking into a building. Staying calm with noisy people. Smiling for photos. We practiced for months. We worked on skills every single day. It’s a pretty big deal. And in…
Read MoreThose Keyboard Warriors Though
One of my dear friends is going through some cyber bullying. She is a blogger. She is amazing. She talks and writes about injustices, her family, her life and her son Amos. Who not only happens to be the cutest child ever, but also has autism. She shared some screen shots with me this morning and I instantly started to sweat. I’ve been there. It will literally take your breath away and feel like you have been sucker punched the first time someone comes at you online. And the second…
Read MoreAutism isn’t a Scary Word
Someone I know is dying. Someone who is in my life. She has a spouse. And kids. Grandkids. A sibling. A home. Friends. Hobbies. Faith. A life. A very full life. She is a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. She found out a year ago that she has cancer. I remember when she told me. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Probably because she is such a good person. Bad things don’t happen to good people. So happy. So optimistic. I knew cancer was bad. But she…
Read MoreMaybe I am Delusional
I read your comment this morning. It was mostly a bunch of gibberish. I will never, ever understand why trolls have such terrible grammar. If you want to attack me, please don’t make me decipher what you are saying. But anyhow, this was one of my favorites of all time. You targeted my looks. Funny. You went after my kids too. Mostly Cooper. An 8 year old boy. You don’t seem to like him much. Which is weird. Because you don’t have to follow him. But I get it. The…
Read MoreThe Difference One Year Makes
Our family had a wonderful Easter day. We spent the day at my parent’s house. The boys had an Easter Egg Hunt and each got baskets. Their baskets were filled with goodies. Cooper especially loved his train magazines and flash cards. I saw so many amazing positives in Cooper’s day. Ones that others outside our world might not notice. He was so excited to get an Easter basket for one. Last year, he didn’t notice. Or care. He ate treats. Yes, you read that right. Cooper used to be so…
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