I saw something recently that said if you are not autistic you are merely an observer of autism. I absolutely believe this to be true. I do not know what it is like to feel the world as my children do, I am not a martyr because I parent autistic children, and I am not an expert on autism. I observe as my daughter carefully pours sand in her hair not worrying about those around her. I let her do it, even if she is covered in dirt, because it…
Read MoreI want to tell you one of the lessons I’ve learned that has helped me be a better parent to my autistic son Cooper. It’s pretty simple really. It’s understanding that he did his best in any situation. It’s listings the positives instead of the negatives. Even if there are only 1 or 2. It’s focusing on the good instead of the bad. Let me explain. Tonight we went to a carnival. All six of us. Our popular social butterfly, our curious wild child, our sweet easy baby, and our…
Read MoreWe just had one of those great nights. One where you realize what a gift life is. We laughed and giggled on our walk. There was running and teasing and stolen hugs and kisses. There was life. So much beautiful life that I had to pause and say thank you. My oldest son asked for a birthday party and to see a blue whale. All without words. My second oldest rode his dirt bike and climbed trees and tried to convince me that he’s going to be 10 instead of…
Read MoreI don’t know a lot about marriage. Even after 13 years I find it to be exasperating most of the time. It feels like work a lot. And I know it shouldn’t be. But with 4 kids, autism, an emotional 8 year old, sports, a toddler, work, and a baby…well, we could very well be speaking different languages most days. But this afternoon, watching my husband get in the pool with 15 rambunctious, crazy, insanely loud boys, I remembered exactly why I married this guy and will gladly spend the…
Read MoreThe Things I’ve Learned… When my son was first diagnosed with autism, and in the early years that followed, I tried really hard to fit in. Into the norm. I wanted so badly for my family to be like the other families. But, well, we weren’t. We couldn’t even pretend. Or fake it till we made it. We were different. Our son was different. Those years that we tried to pretend were the worst. It physically hurt sometimes. To see the differences so loudly. Our son is 10 now. On…
Read MoreNow that the dust has settled on my book cover reveal, I want to say the sincerest thank you to everyone who purchased a copy of my book for preorder. And thank you to all of those who hopefully plan too! Sharing our story in the hopes to help others had always been my dream. I can say for certain that the beginning of my journey into autism would have been entirely different if I had found someone who I could relate to. This book will do that for you.…
Read MoreI don’t get a lot of quiet moments in my life. I mean, I’m a mom of four so honestly it just doesn’t happen. My house feels alive most of the time. Laughter. Yelling. iPads blaring. Train whistles. No hockey sticks in the house. Turn that down. Is that a marker? It feels like a three ringed circus most of the time. But a great one. One that the neighborhood kids are drawn too. Yesterday I made a trip to see my dad. He’s 79 and had a stroke a…
Read MoreMy sweet boy had a tough time on our walk the other day. The beginning was great. The middle had its ups and downs. But we finished strong. Which is usually how it goes for him. Good with moments of intensity mixed in. Highs and lows and middles. And then this moment. A boy of the same age helping him along. Helping him home. Smiling at Barney on his iPad. Never leaving his side. Taking him home. They are both ten. One speaks with ease. One communicates in his own…
Read MoreThis morning I asked my son Cooper if he wanted four or five of something. And he responded with a happy sound and five fingers thrust high in the air. I went on with what I was doing and then paused for a second. Communication. Choice. Independence. Happiness. It is the most beautiful thing. I’ve been told over the years that I want to change Cooper. That I want to make him less autistic. Ha. It’s so far from the truth. My goal as a mom has never, and never…
Read MoreHappy birthday to my husband Jamie! So much to say. So little time because one kid is in the dog dish, one needs a snack, Cooper can’t find his iPad, and I’m attached to a breast pump. So I’ll just say thank you for being with me on this journey. It’s never dull. It’s never quiet. I miss you a lot…even when we are in the same room. We have our four beautiful children to blame for that. We are blessed beyond measure. I know that for certain. And maybe…
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