Sometimes I miss things. Not on purpose by any means. I just have to make choices. When you have four kids, well there is a lot going on. Someone always has a game or practice. Or the sniffles. A trip to the grocery store is always necessary. Or more recently, an aging parent. My husband and I split up. Dividing and conquering. I go to the doctor and he goes to practice. He goes to one conference and I go to the other. And well I miss a game. Or…
Read MoreI want to brag on this little boy for a minute. His dad and I just finished up his yearly assessment with the state. I know every country is different when it comes to autism. Heck, states and even counties are different in the USA. Services and supports vary. Some better than others. We live in a fantastic state for disabilities. Minnesota values people with additional needs and prioritizes their independence, goals, and dreams. We are blessed to get the supports and services that we need to help our son…
Read MoreI do not have autism. I am not autistic. But my son is. Being his mom in no way makes me expert. But I do my best. I try so hard to be the best mom I can possibly be to him. Autism feels confusing to me a lot of the times. I believe we live in a black and white world for the most part. And my son lives in color. Blues and reds and yellows and greens. We, his dad and I, have navigated autism for ten years…
Read MoreHere is what I will tell you. We just went to a Christmas light show. One that you walk through with music and people and wind off the lake and the smells of campfire. It was amazing. And our family was there. We did it. See, our son Cooper wanted to go so bad. He asked us to go. We wrote it on the calendar. He was excited for all 37 sleeps as we waited to go. And as the day approached. And the night before. The morning of. The…
Read MoreBefore I entered the world of autism, I was oblivious to a lot of things. I foolishly assumed that all kids went to restaurants, and used public restrooms and even transitioned from riding in a cart to walking. I didn’t know that some children are deathly afraid of automatic flushing toilets and hand dryers. I didn’t know that some parents are unable to go into gas stations or even go through drive thrus. But the biggest thing that I never even gave a second thought too…was public restrooms. It never…
Read MoreI just went upstairs to tell three little boys to settle down. But before, I paused at the door. Peeking into their world. There was giggling. And fart noises I heard hitting and tickling. I heard booty and I like butts and I lie. It sounded like the bed was being dismantled at one point. And the ceiling may cave in. The middle one yelled for me numerous times, letting me know the his brothers were being wild. I watched for a minute through the crack in the door before…
Read MoreBeing a confident mother to a child with a disability didn’t always come natural to me. Even though it may appear that way. On social media. Or if you see me sitting on the ground in Target next to my son, lovingly holding his frantic hands as he absorbs the sounds and smells and sights. I may appear fearless. As I sit there, my back absorbing the stares. But often I feel out of control. Like I’m standing in a room spinning a dozen plates in the air. And praying…
Read MoreI’m starting to forget. The other day, over coffee, I chatted with a mom whose daughter was just diagnosed with autism and a few other things. Epilepsy. Language disorder. The list far too long for a little girl who wears a pink tutu and pigtails. This mom was looking to me to help her. To give her the answers and the secrets. To fill her up with hope and take away the sting. I mostly just listened. Because that is what I needed 8 years ago when my own son…
Read MoreI found myself sitting next to a woman today. I was out in the community. She has three children and seven grandkids. She lives in a big city. She is in town for Thanksgiving. Visiting family. We got to chatting. Like strangers often do when they find themselves sitting side by side. She asked me about my life. Do I have kids? Where am I from? She really wanted to talk kids. I could tell. She was a very sweet woman. Like my own mother. ‘I do! Three boys and…
Read MoreI should be at church right now. There are a whole lotta reasons why I’m not. Anyhow, I’m sitting here, drinking coffee, watching two of my boys play, and thinking about faith. It’s no secret that my son is thriving. We’ve figured out how to help him in all the ways that he needs help. We’ve found him the right supports. We navigated the system blindly. He’s growing up. He’s happy. He’s exactly who he is supposed to be. Super Cooper. We can breathe now. We can pause and enjoy.…
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