When it’s just Cooper and his dad and I, the house is pretty quiet. No brothers fighting for attention. No talk of monster trucks in mud or hockey practice. No little sisters babbling and cooing. Well, I mean, Blue Mountain Mystery is usually singing from an iPad and I’m constantly saying, ‘turn it down Cooper.’ But besides that, it’s pretty quiet. You will hear an occasional laugh and giggle. A gasp. A question from me. But chatter back and forth…nope. Cooper is eleven years old. On paper his diagnosis is…
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Cooper has always communicated by touch. I like to believe it’s a nonverbal thing. His autism thing. And a Cooper thing. In my mind it’s a way to feel and show someone emotion when it’s hard to understand the words. Or facial expressions. It’s a way to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I am mad’ when the words can’t come out. It’s a way to get someone’s attention too. Listen to me. Look at me. Notice me. If Cooper really likes you, he will touch your face ever so gently.…
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Angela, my precious wife, friend, partner, and soulmate, I sit here, looking back over our life, together, having known you for literally half of my own lifetime. I am in awe. I remember your head poking out of the window of that van, and your goofy, funny, amazing, beautiful smile, the day we met. You waved to me, as your ride was parking. I felt a kind of burst, in that moment. I knew I could do this. I knew I could meet you and your companion, and I would…
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A few days ago, our family returned from our first ever Spring Break vacation. Because we are unable to fly right now (it’s a huge goal for Cooper but he’s not there ‘yet) we decided to visit the Wisconsin Dells. A destination about 3 hours away from us that has the best waterparks. All three of our boy’s love swimming and it’s an activity that we can all do together. And our absolutely hands down favorite place to stay and swim in the Dell is The Wilderness Resort. For many…
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This Saturday, on the 15th, Lifetime will be premiering Safe Room, a thriller that centers on recently widowed Lila Jackson (Nicole Ari Parker) and her 14-year-old autistic son Ian (Nik Sanchez). Since the death of her husband, Lila is grateful for their kind neighbor Neil (Boris Kodjoe), who looks out for them. After Ian accidentally witnesses a break-in in the house across the street and records the horrific murder of the homeowner, Lila becomes embroiled in a deadly struggle to protect her son from intruders Dominic (Mackenzie Astin) and Rocco…
Read MoreMy son, Your birthday is in 8 days. You have been counting down since mid December. You love your birthday. And you love being older. So much so that you are already telling people you are 9 years old. I lovingly correct you every time, reminding you that you are still my 8 year old. I also threaten you with a potion that will keep you little forever. But you have no time for that nonsense. You want to grow up. I want time to stop. Last night you snuggled…
Read MoreTo people who live outside of our world: I have a favor to ask you. When you see that child screaming uncontrollably on the floor of the supermarket. Stop. Pause. And… Before you blame the parents, Before you shake your head in disgust, Before you make snide comments about lack of discipline, And most importantly, before you judge the child, Stop. And know that… You may be seeing autism at its most challenging. It’s most confusing. A child who may simply have seen, heard, or smelled something new and not…
Read MoreThe comment read, ‘for some autism families, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.’ I thought about that comment all last night. And when my toddler woke up at midnight for a hug, and when I nursed my baby, and then again while I drank my coffee and watched the news. I thought back to our most challenging days when there was no apparent light at the end of the tunnel. Our autistic son didn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time and we started every…
Read MoreOnce upon a time, over seven years ago, I conceived a little boy. I had an IUD. This was not the plan. That little boy was born, let’s call him Pickle. He was born quickly and without any assistance from any qualified professional. He was caught by his father, in an inflatable kiddie pool, in the master bathroom of his family’s house. This was definitely not the plan. But that was just the beginning of life unplanned… Pickles popped out to us, I held him in my arms and checked…
Read MoreWhen I think of our son Nixon, who is five, and our daughter, Nora who is almost three, I think of them as who they are as a whole and the qualities each carries. I think of them first as my children, of all the memories of baby giggles, squishy faces over first bites of food, smiles with full cheeks, and watching as they explore the world around them. As human beings, we are a web of life experiences, impressions that others have of us, skills, and qualities that drive…
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