We don’t blend in, this kid and me. Not that we ever did, but I’ll admit when he was smaller it was easier. We got by with the graces people bestow on toddlers and energetic kindergarteners. But 11. Well, 11 is a whole different story. A tween. Eleven is four feet, eight inches tall. Eleven is feet that can slip my shoes on to run out the door. Eleven is shared sweatshirts with mom. T-shirts sometimes too. Eleven is big and loud and noticeable. Because eleven is a boy. A…
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This too shall pass. There is a saying that is said at one time or another to every parent. This too shall pass. I remember being told those words as I held each of my newborns, exhausted from cluster feeding and lack of sleep. Again during the never ending messes that kids make. During potty training woes and tantrums over blue cups and the wrong shoes. And I guess in most cases it’s true right? The hard moments do pass. Usually. Babies start sleeping. Messes stop. Little humans learn to…
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This picture. The older brother watching the younger brother play goalie. Probably seems like nothing special. But it is. It’s hugely special. It’s years of hard work and practice. It’s deep breaths and waiting patiently. It’s noise and sound and cold. It’s also a family, all together, watching a hockey game. I don’t know a lot about autism. I am no expert. I can’t tell you the mysteries of my son for sure. Nor can I always tell you they why or the how. But I can tell you, that…
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I never gave much thought to social norms before I had my son Cooper. Although I do remember a college professor speaking about them and advising each of us to stand backwards in an elevator and watch people squirm. Besides that though, I guess I have just always done them so they rarely cross my mind. That is until autism. My sweet boy is 11. He has blonde hair that is coarse like straw and ruddy cheeks, and he is entirely himself in every way. He doesn’t know how to…
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There is 8 years between these two. 11 and 3. The little brother and the big brother. I know the facts. The little ones spoken language passed up his older brother’s years ago. He has a hundred words. He uses full sentences. When the younger one leaves home, Cooper will be 26 years old. A grown man. The younger one doesn’t know what autism is although we celebrate and speak openly about it daily. He does know that his old brother doesn’t talk though. He asks about it almost weekly…
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My family visited my dad last week. With covid precautions, it’s been quite some time since we’ve seen him. As I sat with him, and the boys destroyed his house as grandchild do, I found myself thinking back. Nearly three years ago, my stepmom lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. The night before we lost her, I was driving my dad back to his house, from the nursing home where she would spend her last days. It was nearing midnight. He was exhausted, close to 80 himself. He needed to…
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Today is my son Sawyer’s ninth birthday. Which is a really big deal. Because according to him he’s basically 16. I am a storyteller. At least I consider myself one. I think our stories are what complete us. And telling stories about Sawyer are my favorite. And I write them down so one day, when I am old and grey, we will have them to look at. This is my favorite Sawyer story… We had arrived at Cooper’s school to pick him up for the day. It was Jamie, Sawyer,…
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This guy turns nine tomorrow. Which is a pretty big deal over here. We take birthdays very seriously in this household. And every time Sawyer mentions something about it, Cooper cheers and tries to convince me it’s his birthday. Nonverbally of course. I wish I could stop time sometimes. But I know I can’t. So instead I try to soak up every part of him I can. Even the part that yelled at me this morning about socks. I saw this memory on Facebook from 2 years ago today…. Sawyer…
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I went to an event a while back, before COVID-19, to honor and celebrate special needs moms. It was one of the first times I realized how lucky I was that my son just had ‘autism.’ He isn’t medically complex. He isn’t terminal. He can run and eat, and we don’t live a chunk of our lives at Children’s Hospital. We are the lucky ones because he is happy and healthy. Story after story was told. Mother after mother. All unique. All important. One of the moms spoke about the…
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A while back we visited an arcade. It was a big adventure for our little family. Our middle son loves all things game. The baby loves tagging after his older brother. And Cooper, our eldest son, he is just starting to take in the world outside of our home. He loves exploring and experiencing the world on his own terms. He is eleven years old. He loves trains and postcards with animals on them. He also has autism. He is autistic. And according to some, nonspeaking. But he has so…
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