You don’t need a blog with lots of followers or to speak to hundreds of people to make a difference. You don’t need to have written a book or to pound the pavement with your message. Just start a conversation. It’s April 1. Our eleventh Autism Awareness Month. And with awareness comes acceptance. Understanding. Inclusion. This morning I am headed to Coop’s school to read a book to the fifth graders, his peers, about autism. To make something different seem less confusing and unknown. Just start a conversation about autism.…
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My son, On this eve of April, Autism Awareness and Acceptance month, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. I want to thank you for teaching me, our family, and even the world about autism. I want to thank you for being patient with me as I settled into this unique life. I want to thank you for being brave, determined and for being yourself. You are more yourself than any other person I have ever met. I want to thank you for trying. For letting…
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I could tell you a hundred things this kid has taught me in his eleven years. More than most adults I know honestly. I had no idea when I was pregnant with my first born that he would end up being the teacher that I needed. Or that a child would turn me into the person I was meant to be. Funny to think about how I actually fought it at first. See, that’s the fear of the unknown. It’s a natural human reaction I suppose. I was scared. It’s…
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April is Autism Awareness/Acceptance month. Here are a few simple ways to support autistic individuals and their families: 6. Reach out – Whether it to be a friend or family member or neighbor who lives down the street. Reach out. Say hi. Get to know them. And even if right now you say you don’t know anyone who has a child on the spectrum, you do. Family member, friend, neighbor, co-worker, school peer. We are out here. Get to know us. Ask questions. 5. Invite – I don’t know why…
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I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 11 year old kids. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my four kids. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…
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When I used to think about autism, back when it was a word used to describe someone else’s child, and eventually when our son was first diagnosed, I used to think about the differences. Autism meant he would be different. And that made me so scared for him. Because I knew the world could be unkind. I would hyper focus at 3 am or while in the shower on all the ‘nevers.’ The differences. The challenges. The worries that would drop me to my knees. He may never talk. He…
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A few days ago, someone said to a friend of mine, who has an autistic son so similar to Cooper that you’d think they were brothers, that her posts about her son were negative. She was upset of course. She didn’t feel like she was being negative. She thought she was just sharing their life. And him. And in fact, she celebrates her son much like I do Coops. I told her my hunch. That people looking in ‘think’ we are being negative when we share because our kids do…
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On March 22, 2022, Kismutt Rescue of Ontario, Canada, posted a message on their Facebook page. It was addressed to “Mama Bears” and referenced their policy of not adopting to families with autistic children. (*I could not find this policy on their website, so it is not clear whether it is for any autistic individual or just autistic children.) The message related two incidents that resulted in the creation of the policy. One took place around 2008 or 2009 when, according to them, an autistic child’s mother called to say…
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See that boy on the left? The one in blue… He is 9 years old. He is in 3rd grade. At least once a week he tells me he can’t wait to be a grown up so he can ride dirt bikes and do whatever he wants. But he also reminds me he is never moving out. He plans to live in the backyard. We had his school conference a few weeks ago. His teacher told us all about his test scores for math. We talked all about developing skills…
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I am not autistic, my son is. And I spend much of time trying to understand him so I can be a better advocate. How he thinks. How he processes. Why he likes certain things. Or doesn’t like others. And how I can help him understand this world that wasn’t really made for him. His brain often feels a bit confusing to me. Mysterious even. Intriguing at the same time. Autism. Blurring the edges a bit. Touching all of his parts. Yesterday, as we were driving together, Cooper saw a…
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