If you’ve never met anyone like my son, you’re missing out. Discover the gift of knowing someone who has special needs or a disability or who is different. Do it today. They will open your eyes to a whole other world. One that looks like your own but isn’t. I promise you the word pity will vanish from your vocabulary too. And it will be exchanged with joy, resilience, and triumph. Get out of your bubble. Your comfort zone. Meet new people. See others unlike yourself. Different can feel scary.…
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Today is my daughter’s first birthday. One year ago today, right about now, she decided to very dramatically and quickly join this world. A head full of white hair. So white that her whole birth team said they had never seen hair so white. She was perfect. She is perfect. Last night, as I watched the news I held her a little bit longer than usual before I laid her down. I pretended not to notice the time when my 9 year old snuck down to sit beside us. And…
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I was 8 months pregnant when Sandy Hook happened. I remember standing in front of the tv for most of the day. Watching it unfold. The children. I still remember their faces. I can still see them. Today. Again. The children. I have kids the same age. Tomorrow their names will be shared. Beautiful photos. Smiles. Lives lost. I have no wise words. Although the ones that come to mind are… Devastated Heartbroken Scared Gutted I imagine most of the world is feeling the same way. Processing. Watching. Reflecting. Wondering…
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This morning I sat long after I should have and rocked my last baby. The day was calling and I should have gotten moving. There were lunches to be made, dishes to be done, emails to be sent. But instead, I sat and held her. I smelled her hair. And studied her face. And listened to her giggle as I pretended to chew on the fingers she placed in my mouth. Her first birthday is in two days. My last baby. How did that happen? Just yesterday I was 28…
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People ask me all the time about my son’s first signs of autism. For some children, it’s textbook. A quick google search returns a lack of or loss of words, struggles with eye contact, or lack of imaginative play. For other kids, the diagnosis doesn’t come so easy. It’s more complicated. Pages full of questions and checkboxes that parents agonize over. Waiting. Worrying. Wondering. I call it the in between space. For us, our sweet boy was born autistic. From the second he was placed in my arms I knew.…
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I used to avoid feeling the worries and fears in my life. For a long time actually. I would run from them. And if they found me, I’d shove them way down deep inside. I’d do everything in my power to not feel them. Or to even stand still because that is when the feelings would find me. I made myself constantly busy. I never sat. I rarely slept. My showers were 2 minutes long. I’d blast the radio in the car. There was far too much too do. And…
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Having a child with a disability is a million things. It’s unbelievable joy. It’s seeing and experiencing every single milestone. It’s happiness. It’s feeling the gut wrenching pain of watching them suffer. It’s finding your voice of advocacy. It’s seeing firsthand that bullying exists. It’s seeing resilience. It’s being turned inside out. It’s carrying a weight that most cannot see. It’s wanting to fight. And run. And hurt. And protect. And scream. It’s a million things. It’s so much. So much more. And tonight. For me. It was being 11…
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I get asked a lot about the sibling dynamic in our autism world. It’s honestly probably one of the topics I am asked about the most. It’s also one of my favorites to share about. When Sawyer was 9 months old I watched him fall completely in love with his older brother Cooper. When he was 2, I watched him chase behind him, following as closely as he could only to be ignored. When he was 3 he asked me why his brother didn’t talk. When he was 4 he…
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Hey friend, Are you going through something hard right now? It doesn’t necessarily matter what it is. Just that it’s hard. And you are struggling. Maybe it’s keeping you up at night. Maybe you find yourself crying in the shower. Maybe you cannot see the bright side. Maybe you don’t know how you will survive this. I get it. I have something in my life too. Something I don’t share a lot about with family or friends. And because of that, that silence, it feels really heavy. Suffocating even. I…
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We are spending the day as a family of three. Enjoying our children individually, and speaking to their hearts, is something Cooper’s dad and I try to do when we can. With four kids it can be a challenge. But today, it worked perfect. We took Cooper for a boat ride on the Mississippi River. His most favorite place ever. He loves the wind and when the water splashes him and the trains that go by every 20 minutes like clockwork. He is calm here. At peace. He gasps a…
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