Before your kids go back to school… Talk to them about being kind. Being a friend. Be generous. Being a kind human. Because… Back when I was only 10 years ago old a new school opened up in my hometown, and I was transferred there for my last two years in elementary school. I had just gotten glasses, and did not know anyone at my new school. I was what many kids would call a geek. The kids at this school came from a nicer part of town where they…
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We will not silence him. It is so hard for some people to realize that Kyle is not defined by his diagnosis. That’s not all that he is. It’s only a small part of him. He really doesn’t make any more noise than other children. Just because his noises aren’t concrete words that doesn’t make him noisy. He has his own way of communicating with us. It doesn’t make it bad or wrong. He is working on making his sounds something someone can understand. Who says how he talks is…
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As he sat on the buddy bench for a rest, my heart broke a little. I imagined him sitting here by himself, yearning for a friend. Someone who understands and accepts him. Someone other than his Mom, Dad, brother and sisters. I find it hard to build and maintain friendships and relationships. I can’t imagine how hard it is for someone who has difficulty communicating. But, I know he will find his way and learn to build and forge friendships, the Stalen way. It takes someone special to see beyond…
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Sometimes I wondered if I would ever get better or outgrow autism as I grew older. I really knew I could never outgrow autism, especially when I got older. However, the older you get the more you realize you know how to deal with stuff better without having an anxiety rush. It’s more about the acceptance. When you get older you know things will change as our body is always changing. Like, when I was younger, I ate meat. Now as an adult I hardly do. No idea why,…
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Dear Special Needs Parent, I See You I see all the nights you FINALLY get your child to sleep, to then wake an hour later for the rest of the day. I see all the miles on your car from driving to and from therapies every day. I see the bags under your eyes from the pure exhaustion you feel. I see the forced smiles when you see other children your child’s age progressing at a much faster rate, while your child struggles. I Hear You I hear the soft…
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There were a lot of things I did not know when my daughter was diagnosed with Autism, but what was most surprising to me was the isolation. I guess the easiest way to explain it is to remember how much you hated isolation during the pandemic. That was our everyday life. Isolation did not happen immediately. It was overtime and yet it seemed to happen overnight. We went from playdates to therapy and that set us apart. We were no longer carefree. We were thrust into a world neither of…
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Marriage with autism. It’s hard, it’s beautiful, it’s an adventure. When you see another couple of a special needs child you ask them how they are, and most say “we are great.” You see beautiful pictures on Facebook, but that isn’t always the reality. I think it’s a topic that isn’t talked about often. Marriage is a challenge for any couple. You have two people living together who are opposites most of the time, so naturally they are going to argue. Throw a special needs child in the mix and…
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Earlier in my journey I would often wonder why. Why my daughter, our family? It seemed unjust, unfair, why did this happen to her? It didn’t make sense, when I looked around I saw other families and their children and everything looked different from ours. Easy, simple, typical We were anything but. We were loud, chaotic, and everything was challenging. I searched for a reason, for something that could explain it. There wasn’t an answer. This was the life she was given, the life we were all given. I didn’t…
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To the new Mama, I met you today as I was taking Lexi to therapy. It was your son’s first day. I could tell right away that you were overwhelmed. Nervous about your son. Wondering how it went. Praying he didn’t have anxiety the whole time. Hoping you made the right decision. Your emotions overwhelmed me with compassion. I wanted to hug you…I DID hug you and later I apologized for invading your space. You told me briefly about your story. Your long road to diagnosis. How you waited so…
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He loves the wind in his hair and the thrill of the motion. His favourite phrase being, “Push me, I’m ready” as he stands between you and your favourite TV programme requesting your partnership. A task where “no” is not an option. And once the swing has been pushed and his legs continue the momentum, he notices as you slink away, once again announcing his right to your role in the task. Social skills are there, but they are on his agenda. Each night he reluctantly enters the land of…
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