It was a typical Saturday. We were invited to a picnic at my husband, Jeremy’s, Uncle’s house. It was a small affair of just immediate family and us. We were excited to see everyone. Since the pandemic had had us at home for sometime only going out for basics and to Whit’s therapies and school. We smoked queso and made a pasta salad. Loaded everyone in the car triple checked to make sure we had everything and off we went. We got there unloaded, said our hello’s, grabbed food and…
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One morning last winter, around 6:00 a.m., my husband woke me as he hurried up the steps toward our bedroom. It’s as though I could feel his fear arrive before he got to the doorway. Our daughter, Seeley, will be eight soon. She is autistic, endured significant prenatal alcohol exposure, has ADHD, is riddled with anxiety, and she has been diagnosed with BiPolar2 with Rapid Cycling. As soon as he reached the door, I met his eyes and knew my hunch was right. When he shouted, “I need you, she…
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My 19-year-old son, Skyler, has severe, nonverbal autism. Throughout his lifetime, I have spent every waking moment deciphering his body language and nonverbal cues to make the decisions that I felt were in his best interest. Is he hungry and if so, will the meal selection I make be something he’ll be interested in eating? Is he tired and if so, should I let him go to bed early even at the risk of him waking up (and forcing us up) in the wee hours of the morning? Is he…
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I have a beautiful moment to share with you… This morning, when I came out of my bedroom, far earlier than I would have liked, I knew my Cooper was waiting on the stairs for me. For one I could hear train whistles and happy music. And secondly, lately, he’s been waiting for me more. Near, but far. Not close enough to touch, but easily heard and seen if I peek around a corner or under a table. He gasped as he usually does when it’s been a period of…
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I always wondered what kind of relationship my kids would have when we discovered that Nixon would have a little sister. His life changed when we brought his sister Nora home from the hospital. They are two and a half years apart, and I wondered if they would have a close relationship as my siblings and I do. I had so many additional thoughts after both of our children’s autism diagnoses. Would they connect in the way brothers and sisters do? Their connection with each other was immediate. I would…
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‘There was none of this autism stuff back when I was in school.’ I hear some version of that statement often. It typically comes from someone older than me, and most often, not from a cruel place. More of a place of curiosity. I do my best to educate. I explained to them that not that long ago, kids like my son were kept in different parts of the school. And before that, placed in institutions. It’s true. Most people don’t want to believe it though. I’ve educated myself on…
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This was without a doubt the most challenging year for our family. This was the year we had to call in help to look at safety, support for aggression, goodbye to all medications because none were working. But we also learned the most lessons, came out stronger, and have a better foundation for raising a son with autism. Here are twenty one lessons autism has taught us this past year: 1. In their own time, in their own way. 2. People are curious and want to understand how to help,…
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The other day I found myself with a group of mothers. We all had kids roughly the same ages. We chatted about the craziness of raising kids right now. We laughed. We vented. We did what mothers do. Then we bragged about our amazing kids. One mentioned her son getting straight A’s this year. And practicing for his driver’s test. Another spoke of her child going on a missionary trip and how great that will look on her college application. We chatted about sports and the things four year olds…
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My boy attended his first middle school dance last night. The statement alone evokes a slew of emotions, undoubtedly steeped in years of questions surrounding whether or not participating in milestone events such as these would be possible for Leo who is on the autism spectrum. Yesterday evening, I laid out a pair of khaki pants, and a polo, hoping they’d be sufficient for the occasion. I’d asked Leo’s teacher what the kids usually wear to these functions, my own middle school days seemingly a lifetime ago… Leo giggled excitedly…
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Did you know there are different types of helper dogs? Three to be exact and they all serve a different purpose. Emotional Support Animal (ESA), Therapy Dog and Service Animal. Let me help you understand them, because it’s important to know how to use the right terms. Did you know that an Emotional Support Animal or ESA for short does not have public access rights? Yep, it’s true. Although some people will argue about this, the fact is simple, they don’t have the right to be in public and actually…
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