“I am sorry. She is autistic.” This. This is what I wanted to shout in the waiting room at dance class Monday night. I wanted the moms with their beautifully behaved children to know this. I didn’t want Lexi’s behavior to come across as me being an awful parent, or to view Lexi as a naughty girl. I wanted to give the behavior an excuse. I stayed silent. I did not share that she had autism. I did not justify her behavior. I let them think what they wanted. Whether…
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Last night I had a dream I had a conversation with my daughter. She is four years old, autistic, and non-speaking. Her little voice has been on my mind lately. As her age and receptive language, her understanding of language, had gone up so has her frustration. I think often about how hard she works to communicate her needs, wants, and feelings. She is an excellent communicator. I often wonder what it would be like to know how she is feeling, what she really wants me to know. I think…
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Last night I laid in a full-size bed, inside a tent, under a train blanket, with my eight year old son. He had just fallen asleep. Beforehand, we talked, sang, and laughed. He asked me to hug him tight, and I did as he fell asleep. Slowly releasing him before he completely drifted off. Tight hugs are one of the few things that help him calm his body. Sleep doesn’t come easy for my boy. You can judge and give suggestions, but we’ve tried it all. My son is autistic…
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Our son Sullivan is autistic and has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. Many people ask us, when did you know your son was autistic? That’s a tricky question because initially we had no idea. Sully had what we know now as sensory issues early on. We had to try many different bottle nipples, he threw up a lot, he stuffed food in his mouth till he choked, he would eat and eat and not like the feeling in his stomach and make himself throw…
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We tried a thing today. It was one of our spur of the moment ideas. My autistic son, Xavier, had gotten up at four again, and to be honest, after we dropped off his younger brother at school, we were all hungry and in need of a caffeine fix. Xavier’s Occupational Therapy appointment had been canceled due to a training his therapist was attending, so we had over an hour to kill. There is a diner that my husband and I both love, and hadn’t been to in a couple…
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My son, I want to tell you about the beginning. The beginning of autism. And a bit of the middle I suppose. I used to get so upset when people stared at you. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Screeches. Grunts. High pitched screams. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be melting down. Screaming. Either way it almost sounds the same. Loud. I’d look around. Make eye contact. Sometimes I’d…
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A few days ago I was driving myself and my four kids home from my mom’s house in Wisconsin. We had just celebrated Christmas and my SUV was packed to the brim with toys, leftovers, and love. The sky was dark as I navigated the backroads I’ve driven home for 30-some years. I remember being a little girl and dozing as my parent’s car bounced over the same bumpy roads. Only this time I was the parent, and I had three sleeping kids in the seat behind me, and one…
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As we age, our interests change. They evolve. They grow with us. But what if they don’t? What if they stay the same year after year? In the real world, they call it age appropriate. It means teenagers shouldn’t be watching Barney or adults shouldn’t be believing in Santa. Someone once told me to turn off the cartoons and put on the National Geographic channel. I still laugh about that. They thought parents like me should be forcing interests. My son is 12. He’s amazing. And he loves Peppa, Barney,…
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Why isn’t therapy talked about more? Why is it that therapy looks like a bad thing? Because it isn’t. Therapy is for people who can’t just figure it out, right? Who can’t just get over things. Who can’t handle life. Right? Absolutely wrong. In my opinion, I think everyone could benefit from at least one therapy session. Why? Therapists aren’t just there to hear you talk about your life (although that is so healing), they are there to give you tools to succeed! To process your emotions! To remind you…
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These two had a brotherly scuffle last night. Very typical in a ‘not-so-always’ typical life. The older one is 12. The younger one is 9 for a few more weeks. I could hear them wrestling upstairs. It honestly sounded like the ceiling was going to cave in. I heard laughter. Squeals. Stomping. Running. Words. ‘Come and get me!’ And the nonverbal responses that Cooper gives. Sounds. Happy pitches. Clapping hands. So much joy. And then a scream. Yelling. Running. Tattling. A near tears explanation that Cooper ripped the fuzzy ball…
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