I have been her mom for around 2,920 days, add a couple extra for the leap years. I have provided comfort and care, lessons again and again, and I have offered absolutely nothing as much as I have given love, acceptance, and gratitude. The honor to be hers is mine, and it’s by no small miracle that she made it to me. Eight years ago today, I was in the delivery room as an angel gave birth to my girl. Within our first moment together, I knew I was everything…
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Sometimes, I feel like all we have are rules. There’s rules and restrictions for everything in our house. My son Daniel is six and has autism and ADHD. He loves playing with toys, but they easily frustrate him. Especially if they have small pieces, can break easily, or have a lot of accessories. There’s a toy he has from Incredibles 2 that was taken away recently because it made him mad. He wants to play with all his toys at once, but he doesn’t understand that when you mix and…
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What if all we had to do was love our children? Love them through their mistakes, their poor judgment, their outbursts. Their vulnerabilities. Their moods. Their highs and lows. My son Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. For eighteen years, doctors and therapists have told me what to do. Use social stories, try medication, redirect his obsessions. No one ever told me to simply love him. Love the way his hair smells after a bath. Love the way his chubby fingers grip a pencil. Love how earnestly, carefully he…
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This is baby Harbor. The third baby. The third boy. The third little thief of sleep and sanity. He turned 4 years old in October. The word I would use to describe him is…curious. He is kicking soccer balls, negotiating in full sentences, eating with a fork, and playing hockey. Although, he likes to sing songs and do experiments more. Of all three of my boys, he is the busiest. He wants to know how things work. Like the toilet. And Kleenex boxes. And mud puddles. He has the biggest…
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Dear Autism Momma, I’m sorry. I didn’t know then what I do now. I didn’t understand. I’m sorry that when your child was having a meltdown in the grocery store, instead of offering to help or extending compassion, I walked away judging how in the world you could let your child act that way. I’m sorry that when your child sat in the grocery cart long after expected, I didn’t extend grace. All I could think about were the “rules” and how no one ever followed them like my children…
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You see the posts, you hear the stories, but you don’t always know how to help….. You don’t have a child with special needs, but your friend or a family member does. You want to do something, but are unsure of where to start. Here are five ideas that have been life-changing for me. Remind her that she’s doing a great job. When she’s in the toughest times she’s doubting herself, she’s wondering if it’s her fault, if she will ever make it through. Reach out, remind her how amazing…
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Dear friend, (whose child has just been diagnosed with autism.) Your child has just been diagnosed with autism. Maybe it came as a shock. Maybe not. Maybe like me you already had an idea that something was going on. But you still felt the sting when the words were said out loud. There are so many things I want to tell you. So many important things that I feel you should know. But right now, if you were anything like I was 9 years ago, your head is spinning. You…
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What I want the world to know about being a mom of a child with autism is that it is coupled with grief. I love my daughter. With every ounce of my being. She brings me joy and hope every single day. She teaches me patience, perspective, and that there is more than one way to do EVERYTHING. But I was not unprepared for the grief. When you hear that you are going to have a baby your brain starts dreaming of the life that will soon be. So many…
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Our son was diagnosed with autism at age 6. Although it has only been 3 years since diagnosis, there are many things I wished I knew then that I know now. I remember we felt like we were navigating the journey blind. We felt so alone and isolated, and it was a lot of trial and error. There wasn’t a guidebook on how to navigate the world of autism. So here are 24 things I wished I knew in hopes that it helps someone who is newly diagnosed: 1. Contact…
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I have two beautiful kids, a 7 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My son is autistic. This adds a different dynamic to their relationship, but really it’s their normal. I remember the day they first met. We were so nervous about how he would react to her. We’d practiced with baby dolls and talked about her all the time. A reminder she was coming. He had baby cousins around before, so he knew what babies were like. I was nervous about a baby that never leaves…
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