I’ve been quiet today, no social media posts, spending time observing my son, I took a walk in silence this morning instead of with my AirPods in. Yesterday evening my son Jackson, who was diagnosed at age two with level two autism spectrum disorder, had a really difficult time in the grocery store. He yelled at us in protest, he hit us and the shopping cart, he had behaviors that you wouldn’t expect from an almost nine year old boy that is nearly five feet tall. We’ve learned to remain…
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To my beautiful daughter, I sit here and watch you try to answer questions. I can see how hard you are trying. It makes my heart ache seeing how hard it is for you. A task that should take such minimal effort. At the same time, to hear you answer with such pride and confidence when you are understood and correct, fills my heart up, and I can’t help but smile. I am filling out a questionnaire, an endless one, it seems, all about what you can and can’t do.…
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To our Second Child, I want to start by saying your dad and I love you very much. You have always been planned. I say that because people might make jokes about our age or the age difference between you and your brother. You have been planned since the day your brother was born. I pictured having two kids, I envisioned you and your brother playing in the backyard while I watched out the kitchen window. I always thought you would be two or three years younger than Henry. Those…
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Glass child is a term used to define a sibling who has a brother or sister with a disability. These siblings are unique individuals and they often sacrifice time with their parents. This often leads to stress as their parents are often dealing with challenging behaviors, constant therapies and doctor appointments. They strive to be cared for and their emotional needs being met. The list can go on and on. In the end, what they get from their parents at the end of the day is only a fraction of…
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While more is being discussed about the importance of authentic autism and disability representation on screen, we can’t forget to write more autistic and disabled characters of color if we truly want to embrace inclusion. I posted a question on my Instagram page asking people to “fill in the blank” and name their favorite autistic TV character. The top four answers were Shaun Murphy on “The Good Doctor,” Sam Gardener on “Atypical,” Matilda on “Everything’s Gonna Be Okay” and Max Braverman on “Parenthood.” All four of these characters are white.…
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When I share about parenting my autistic son, I often use the word ‘intense.’ Like you are in a crowded room and someone turns the temperature dial up bit by bit. Slowly at first. Then faster. Tick tick boom. Or I’ve even said it’s a game of negotiation. Me talking him off or on the ledge. There are no little things with his autism. Only big. It’s like his mind won’t let his body be calm. Like they are at odds. And it comes out of him. His body can’t…
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My daughter, Kya is twelve and on the autism spectrum. Like most parents I wanted my daughter to get an education because that was what I thought was important and let me be very clear, reading and writing and an education are very important, but when you take a step back and live a different kind of life than the average typical person things shift on what is important. Self- care, self awareness and independence is most important for my daughter. My daughter has to know life skills. She has…
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Four years ago I watched you from my son’s bedroom window as you went back and forth with your colleague in your car– attempting to convince her that my son had autism. You both had just evaluated him. I understood the urgency– I knew that you understood. I didn’t have a fancy job title and didn’t have an outwardly impact on our society. I didn’t possess any powers and my neighbors didn’t know my name. I didn’t have anything to give or anything to spend other than being the best…
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Sharing your life on social media can be so rewarding at times. Helping other families, educating about autism, bringing awareness, has changed my life. Honestly, this is my purpose. I don’t’ want any other parent to feel alone on this journey…like I did in the beginning. But, with the good comes other parts too. And often, I truly feel like I am being scolded a thousand times over by people. I try to remember though; people are only seeing a 5-minute glimpse into our lives. That’s not much. A few…
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The transition to school can be a challenging time for anyone. When you add having a diagnosis of autism and/or other special needs, though, it may be overwhelming. This is the main reason I want to become a champion for the cause in our schools. This is where my story begins of wanting to speak in our schools. When I was diagnosed with autism at 4, I was just starting Pre-K. My parents had to transition to helping me find supports while I had to transition to going to school for…
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