Posts

I Should Have Known and Deep Down, Maybe I Did.

March 7, 2014

Looking back, I always new Cooper was speech delayed, but I never knew he had delays in other areas.  He never babbled like a typical child so I wasn’t surprised (devastated for sure) when we started the speech therapy route. Even now, his babbling is extremely different from Sawyers. I will admit that I always lumped ALL of Cooper’s delays into one category…SPEECH. And that was wrong of me. But in my defense, Cooper met all of his physical milestones (up until jumping) right on time. He held his head up, rolled over, crawled and…

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A Message To My Future Self

March 6, 2014

I do this thing where I leave notes for my future self. I have done it for years. The first time was during college. I was dating a guy that wasn’t right for me but I refused to see it. During a super low point with lots of fighting I got this alert on my phone that said, “If it’s not better today, DUMP HIS ASS!” At first I thought God was talking to me. Although I was pretty sure God wouldn’t swear. Honestly though I had no idea how the…

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How Can You Hate Everything?

March 6, 2014

“It’s not humanly possible that you hate everything Cooper. Unless, you aren’t human and you were sent to this earth to make me insane. Then, I guess yes, it might be possible.” Then I looked deep into his eyes to see if maybe he was indeed an alien. Nope. No sign. This is something I said to Cooper yesterday on the way home from his first occupational Therapy appointment. Let me remind you that this place is amazing and the therapist is an angel. An actual angel. She had the…

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Just Make The Call

March 4, 2014

I can’t do it. I can’t make myself physically pick up the phone and call for this service. Life is not fair. I can’t do another evaluation.  I don’t want him to need special ed. What else can I add onto that…How about put a damn email address on here so mom’s like me don’t have to make initial contact with a phone call. Ease me into it as they say.

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Just Be Patient Mama. It Will Get Better.

March 4, 2014

I mentioned yesterday that my whole family is sick with a cold….including one of our dogs. I think our house should be quarantined at this point. The boys stayed home from daycare with Jamie and he text me around 10 that something ‘questionable’ was draining out of Cooper’s right ear. First, I am not surprised. He has been acting like a lunatic lately. I wish he could just tell us when something hurts. I hate the thought that he is in pain and I don’t know it. Second, what next? And…

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Lowering my Expectations

March 3, 2014

I am sitting here trying to decide what to write about. I could write about the event I went to this weekend and how seeing hundreds of ‘normal’ happy children takes a lot out of me. How I had to text Jamie a few times for support and yet again realized how alone I am in my feelings about Cooper’s future. He will never feel how I feel about our situation. And I will never feel how he feels. Maybe its a man/woman thing. Or an outlook on life thing. I guess…

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He Sat Still Folks!

February 28, 2014

I have to share this! Cooper had a cold yesterday. I am kind of worried that he might have an ear infection which would mean that his tube most likely fell out. Ugh. I can’t even think about it. It seems to be gone today though. Anyhow, I picked him up from daycare and for the first time in 2 years we rode home in silence. Usually, he ‘chats’ the whole ride. It borders whining with a bit of pointing and shrieking. Oh, to know what is in that kid’s…

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The Beginning of GREAT THINGS are sometimes the hardest.

February 28, 2014

Cooper’s sensory issues really intimidate me. I think because they don’t make sense to me. I can’t seem to get a grasp on it either. And, they are pretty much invisible. He is an angel for teeth brushing, getting dressed, etc. The kid just can’t sit still. He can’t shut it off. I’m really thinking Occupational Therapy is going to help. I’ve read raving reviews from other parent’s and am SO hopeful. Looking back at this journey I have to chuckle at all the different stages that were hard at first and…

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Another Occupational Therapy Evaluation In The Books

February 27, 2014

We had Cooper’s Occupational Therapy Evaluation yesterday morning. I am wearing my new positive hat (AKA…The ‘I am going to positive if it freaking kills me’ hat) and there were many ‘good’ things that came from the evaluation. First, this lady is A-MAZ-ING! If you could pick the exact person you would want to work with your child it would be this woman. She is patient and sweet and knew exactly how to work with Cooper. We have had people in the past that didn’t know how to handle him…

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Eek…I Overshared! And Now You Know The Real Me!

February 24, 2014

I am totally having mommy guilt about oversharing yesterday. Think of it as drinking too much and being embarrassed the next day about what you said and did. We’ve all been there. At least I know I have! (One too many times) Except yesterday I wasn’t drinking. I was just plain, old sad. And worn down. And needed help. A good night’s sleep reminded me that life could be a lot worse. If I was to sum up Cooper’s behaviors I can link every single one to lack of communication. He…

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