Posts

I Can Bargain With The Best Of Them

April 14, 2014

I do a lot of bargaining. More than I probably should at this stage in the game. I mean, honestly, Cooper is 3.4. I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been waiting almost 2 1/2 years for a first word. Isn’t that crazy? Every month that goes by I silently add up the months in my head. 1.4 years of speech. 1 year of occupational therapy. What else? 2 years until kindergarten. I’m almost OCD about it. And then I bargain. I probably should be a lot farther…

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Back to Reality

April 10, 2014

Jamie and I are back from our quick vacation in Washington DC. It was so amazing to feel like a grown up. I think I started to forget what it was like. We ate and drank and slept. And we only had one deep, ‘what does the future hold’, conversation about Cooper. And wow was the break refreshing. Everyone deserves a break from the worry. If you let it the worry will suffocate you. And as parent’s of kiddos with needs we know all too well what that is like. Don’t get…

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Let's just get through this 4 weeks of disappointment and move on with our lives.

April 1, 2014

How did it come to this? Coordinating calendars and therapy appointments. Managing meltdowns and lack of understanding.  Hating myself. And my life. I guess I just don’t understand when it happened. I am sitting here trying to remember when it got hard. Cooper was a difficult sleeper from birth but besides that he was a great baby. Loved to eat. Loved to snuggle. Loved to be moving. Then we had the pooping issues. Then the hearing aid debacle. And I will say that whole shit show toughened me up. I learned how…

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It's the Middle that Counts the Most

March 31, 2014

I spent the weekend with my kids and husband and our puppies. Jamie and I even snuck  in a date for margaritas. We were walking on air until we came home to dog pee on the carpet. **SIGH**  All in all though, it was a perfect weekend. Maybe it has to do with spring coming. Maybe it’s because Cooper is getting easier every day or maybe it’s a whole lot of self growth. I guess I really don’t know. But I’ll take it. I cleaned my house 17 times and then cleaned it…

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The Evaluation Summary

March 30, 2014

So, how did the evaluation go? That is the question. And better yet, how did this train wreck mom handle it? First let me say, the end result is exactly what we wanted. Cooper will start a developmental preschool through the school district in the fall. He will attend 3 hours a day, 4 days a week. He will get help with speech, fine motor, gross motor, sensory, etc. He can also be bussed. (SCARY!) So, this is great. Now for the real stuff. I had been communicating with the…

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Today is the Day.

March 28, 2014

Today is the day that I will love Cooper the most. Today he needs me more than ever. Today I am his advocate. His protector. His cheerleader. Today I refuse to wish that he was different. I will be proud of how far we have come and accept that we need help from the school and teachers and others. Today, I will accept that I can’t do this alone. Today I will go easy on myself. I will wear something I won’t sweat through. I know that I will be running…

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Just A Little Ole Choo-Choo Sound

March 26, 2014

The good days are continuing. I could sure get used to this! Last night I had amazingly special moments with each of my boys. I was sitting on the floor playing with Sawyer and we were feeding his baby from toy bottle. He was hugging and kissing the baby and laughing. I saw love and a HUGE imagination. I wrapped the baby up and sang a lullaby and Sawyer thought that was the most amazing thing ever. I didn’t get these moments with Cooper and I may never get them. Pure…

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Yes, I'll Jump Through Your Hoops

March 25, 2014

Cooper is going to ‘most-likely’ start preschool in the fall with the school district. This is great for so many reasons. First, Duluth doesn’t seem to have any other places that can give him the services he needs. There are a lot of preschools but they are all for typical developing children. Second, Super Cooper will have a team devoted to him. He will have a speech therapist, occupational therapist, etc. It takes a village folks! And, he can be bussed to and from. (This freaks me the hell out…

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Postive Updates

March 24, 2014

I just posted about changes in Cooper. I wanted to go into a little more detail because I am such a proud mama. I have blogged before about how picking up the boys from daycare can be a sad point in my day. It’s hard to see other kiddos the same age as cooper talking. It crushes me actually. So much, that there are times where I dread going. Sad, right? On Thursday, as I walked up to the house I saw that another mom was holding Cooper. He was hugging her and…

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Get Through Today. Better Days Are Coming.

March 24, 2014

Cooper is back. My sweet, smart boy is back. I know that sounds crazy right? Cooper has been a little monster for the last month or so. You can even tell by the theme of my blogs. A little over a month ago my posts were hopeful. Then, they changed. More fear, desperation. More anger. Things changed last week. I am so excited I have a smile on my face as I type it. Thank you God. He’s playing again. Laughing, ‘chatting’ non-stop. So much that he woke us up…

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