Two weeks ago my autistic son went to his younger brother’s baseball game for the first time. He stayed 15 minutes. A few nights after that he went for the whole two hour game. A few nights after that we brought our youngest daughter with us. And then most recently, Spider-Man (our 4 year old) came too. Which, if you add it all up, means all six of us were at a baseball game together. It was not effortless. Not by any means. It was work. I don’t think me…
Read More
Sometimes it feels like the world is against us. A constant fight for what my son Lucas needs and deserves. And then there are times I’m reminded that’s not always true and our faith is restored. We experienced an amazing act this week and it may sound so silly to some. But it was absolutely everything, especially to this sweet boy. Lucas has a worn out and well loved stuffed chicken. Many in Lucas’ world know how special she is to him. A gift, almost 8 years ago, from Lucas’…
Read More
I just left the grocery store. I only had a few things today so opted for the self checkout today. While I scanned my items, I became aware of two young men next to me. I would say they were both in their 20’s. It dawned on me rather quickly that one was helping the other shop for groceries. He was helping him scan each item, slow and meticulously. Talking him through he step. The gentleman being helped was very much enjoying himself. He was laughing and making very happy…
Read More
To the parents reading the school test scores that will get their child special education services at school, I see you. My daughter is fourteen years old and has been in the public school system since she was three years old. Every year Olivia has an IEP meeting. Her IEP team goes over all of her strengths and weaknesses and then we create goals based off of data collected from previous goals and testing. Every three years they do extensive testing to figure out what range she falls under cognitively,…
Read More
As nature and nurture are woven into our lives, so to are luck and destiny. Luck, by definition is success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions. Destiny, by definition, is the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future. My daughter Seeley is now eight, and on the day she was born, she made our family whole. I can recall every detail of the day. First, we got the call! Labor! Then we rushed, smiled, cried, hurried, called,…
Read More
A few weeks ago, I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Care for the Caregiver Retreat in Minnesota, put on by the More Than a Project and Finding Cooper’s Voice. It’s hard to put into words the sense of camaraderie and love I experienced during that time. When my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder three and a half years ago, I withdrew into myself. Even before the diagnosis, our family had become isolated. Going out in public became a challenge as I couldn’t bear the judgmental stares…
Read More
My sweet boy, It’s your old mom here. I have something I want to tell you. Something I want you to know. Years ago, during our hardest days, I made a promise to you Cooper. You didn’t know it. I made it late at night. One of those desperate internal conversations that happen at 3 AM in a scared mother’s mind. We were two years into your nonverbal autism diagnosis although I was nowhere near an expert. We had just said goodbye to kindergarten. It wasn’t working and you needed…
Read More
There is a memory I often share about Mother’s Day. In fact I think it’s even in my book. It impacted me so deeply. So much so that I’m still talking about it 10 years later. My son Cooper is the one who first made me a mom. Today he is 12 years old. He has a diagnosis of severe nonverbal autism. I like to tell the moms and dads of newly diagnosed children that it takes time. Every part. Acceptance. Understanding. Advocacy. It all takes time. Ten years ago,…
Read More
I’m raising two boys side-by-side. There is barely two years between them. When I found out I was pregnant with my second son all those years ago…I had plans. Big ones. Visions. Expectations. Best friends. Teammates. When the oldest was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism it all changed. Ever so slightly at first. Than greatly over time. They didn’t play together. They didn’t even acknowledge each other. But time…it has a way of healing and growing. Understanding comes. Loyalty. Love. Devotion. And advocacy. Tonight I watched the one with no…
Read More
Tonight my older son Cooper and I went to his 10-year-old brother’s baseball game. We were armed with a blanket, a chair, an iPad, hotspot, snacks, a drink, and talk of a visit to the fire station this Saturday. And belief in a boy with autism. Belief in progress and hard work. See he is 12 years old. He doesn’t care much for sports. But he sure loves his brother. He stayed for 1 hour and 45 minutes. I saw almost every inning. I saw my son catch. I saw…
Read More