Two months ago I knew that my son knew all of his letters. I knew he loved the alphabet with a passion. But I didn’t know what else to do with it. He struggled to pay attention. To focus. To sit and learn. He showed no desire to read or write. But, and there is always a but in our world, I started imagining a world where he could type to me and have a conversation through text. What would he say to me if he could? And before I…
Read More
For years I longed for kisses and hugs from my autistic son. But, it never came. He’d gladly receive affection and even ate it up and yes, I was thankful for that. But before autism I just assumed affection came naturally. I had no idea that teaching a child to ‘give’ affection could be a challenge. Or even a skill that needed to be taught. On top of not willingly showing affection, Cooper simply didn’t know how to actually kiss or hug. Due to his Apraxia, his lips are unable…
Read More
Note: This guest post is directly dictated. Including punctuation. My son literally stood beside me and told me where to use BIG words and “one of those lines with the dot at the bottom.” Enjoy his perspective. Hi, I’m Elijah and I have High Functionality! (That’s my name for High Functioning Autism. I like High Functionality better because it sounds like I’m highly functioning, like a robot!) I like Minecraft and Legos! And other things. I move from thing to thing and sometimes I’m into magic things, sometimes I’m into…
Read More
Last night, I had a dream that my nonverbal son had a conversation with me. We were walking along a path, holding hands, laughing and smiling. He was pointing things out to me. For some reason it was really beautiful. The sky was colorful. The trees and grass were so bright and vivid. I remember noticing how calm we were. How he wasn’t flapping or running or screaming. I could hear mumbling but in my mind I knew that it couldn’t be Cooper speaking. My autistic son doesn’t speak. Then…
Read More
My most favorite thing is having conversations with Sawyer. And typically, the best ones happen while I’m driving. Yesterday, on our way to a birthday party, he asked me if he will ever get to ride a dinosaur and who decides where the roads start and stop. He asked me if we were rich. When I told him no he asked me if he could get a job. He told me a fascinating story about how his dad ran out of gas and had to walk to the gas station…
Read More
I thought for sure I was going to be the perfect mama. Well, not perfect because let’s be honest here. But, I guess I thought life was going to be relatively easy. You get married. Have babies. Work. Live. Try and drink enough water. Exercise. Keep your kids from turning into little monsters. Teach them. Love them. Take them to the dentist and yearly check-ups. Find time for your spouse. Laugh. Love some more. And grow older. Retire. Be thankful. I thought that was life in a nutshell I guess.…
Read More
Truthfully, autism is never my friend, but today was one of those days where I wanted to punch autism in the face. Triggers have always been a part of our autism world. As much as we try to avoid them, they rear their ugly little heads often, and all too often when we least expect it. Our eleven-year-old daughter Lilly was diagnosed just before she turned three, and over the last eleven years, we have seen triggers come and go. Most of her early triggers stemmed from her OCD. She…
Read More
My son has autism. He is autistic. Whichever you prefer that I say I guess. He is the happiest child you will ever meet. He moves through his life with a simple, silly, determined way. His days are filled with hugs, kisses, trains, his Kindle and joy. Every day is the best day of his life. And as his parents, we work VERY hard to make sure his world is perfect. That will not change. Lately, I have been seeing, reading and hearing about the unique shaming that happens to…
Read More
There is nothing I love more on this earth than my son. And I like to believe that Jamie and I are past the grieving that goes into having a disabled child. I truly do. We have two beautiful children. Wonderful lives. We are blessed and happy. We don’t think about how our lives are different because of autism. We don’t dwell on the fact that our son doesn’t speak. Or that he can’t really leave the house. He’s not our ‘autistic’ son. He’s just our son. Our lives are…
Read More
I’ve gone round and round with deciding whether to share this part of our autism journey or not. I hope to share in a way that is always helpful as well as inspirational even though it definitely was a very low point. Everyone’s journey is going to be very different. Some are going to be filled with much more heartache and struggles but in the end we’re all striving to do our very best in learning how to navigate this world of autism. I hope you find something helpful in…
Read More