Posts

Jumping Into the Rabbit Hole

May 28, 2018

It was 2016 and we were feeling pretty good about things. The psychiatrist recommended an occupational therapist to use as a way to address our son’s up tick in outbursts. Within the last year the explosive tantrums were not occurring with the same frequency (yay), but when they did, they were fierce (nay). And when they were fierce there were times I would get sad and sink into what I call the rabbit hole. I would feel sorry for myself and lament that other families did not have to deal…

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We Have A Little Secret…

May 27, 2018

We have been keeping a little secret! I am 21 weeks pregnant and couldn’t be more excited. Baby S is due in October! I know you will all have a million questions and I will gladly answer them for you. I am guessing this list will cover a few of them. Yes, we were planning this. Yes, we are excited. Yes, we are very nervous and scared but Jamie and I also refuse to spend our days worrying. Yes, Cooper’s autism impacts every decision we make. Yes, Cooper’s number one…

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Our Days Are No Longer Lost

May 26, 2018

For the first time, since as far as I can think back, I want time to slow down. I actually haven’t ever really felt this way. My whole life I’ve been sprinting to reach the next milestone. A shame I know, trust me. I wish it hadn’t of taken me thirty years to realize this. And it’s kinda an odd feeling to have made this shift. Since having Noah, all I’ve been doing is trying to catch up. Rushing to do everything and anything I could to get him ‘better.’…

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As Parents, We Need to Start a Conversation About Autism

May 26, 2018

I read an article today about autism. It said children with autism most likely won’t show affection. They won’t need affection. They won’t understand emotion. They won’t have empathy or sympathy. Then I went onto read an article about an autistic boy that attacked his teacher. I noticed no one asked why. The child was labeled as a monster. No one questioned the school. Instead, it labeled the seven-year-old boy as autistic. I heard words like aggressive. Angry. And the police were called. I let myself read another article about…

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The Water Slide Less Traveled

May 25, 2018

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and the Embassy Suites at Kingston Plantation will always hold bittersweet memories for our family.  Even before we were married, my husband and I would attend medical and dental meetings at the beautiful oceanfront oasis, enjoying romantic candlelight dinners, soaking up every precious second of our time away from the purse strings of life. After marriage, we introduced our beautiful baby boy, David, to our seaside retreat.  He attended every meeting, quickly showing his affinity for the sand between his toes.  It was just after his…

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The Can’ts Will Become Cans

May 24, 2018

I remember like it was just yesterday. I dazed out of the evaluation window as we waited for someone to come in and explain how this “process” works. My son had just turned 2 a couple of weeks earlier, and he was finally old enough for an official diagnosis. I was anxious because on that today, June 9, 2015, I would find out that it wasn’t all in my head. That something was indeed wrong. We listened, we asked questions, we tried to initiate activities that showed the doctors why…

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Advice For The New Autism Parent

May 23, 2018

Dear New Autism Parent, First of all, I want to say I’m sorry!  Even if you’ve suspected that your child has autism, having your theory confirmed hurts. It’s like a smack in the face. It feels like all of the plans you had are gone and the child you expected to have may never be possible. It sucks! Believe me I’ve been there not once but twice. I’ve had to sit through a meeting where they break the news that my suspicions were correct. Despite how you might feel right…

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Your First Time Seeing Autism

May 22, 2018

We’ve known each other for years. Friend of a friend I suppose you could say. We are the same age. Both married. Both busy. You don’t have children though. I would say you know me pretty well. You know where I work. Where I live. Who my friends and family are. I see you regularly. You know that my son has autism. You hear me talk about him often. Sometimes I talk about the hard times. The medical struggles. The sleep deprivation. The constant fight. Sometimes I talk about my…

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I am Thankful for Those Rare Moments

May 21, 2018

I’m going to be real here. Throughout the frustration, the exhaustion, the tears and screaming, I really start to question how much I can handle sometimes. There are days where I really don’t want to get out of bed and face the day. There are days where I want to hide away, just for five minutes of peace. There are days where I want to scream and cry. There are days when I truly do think, ‘autism really sucks.’ Then, there is the feeling of guilt that for a brief…

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However Hard Autism is for Me; It is Harder for My Son

May 18, 2018

At 9 months old, I knew there was something different about Zachary. At 17 months old I took it upon myself to get him started in feeding therapy, and then shortly after early intervention. At that early point in Zachary’s life everyone tells you, “he is fine…he is a boy, they take longer to do certain things” and all that extra fluff.  As a nurse I knew differently, and as a mom I knew in my heart. Zachary will be 4 years old in April, which also means I have been a mom for that long as…

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