My dear little one, The last few days with you have been utter bliss. Maybe I am being overly dramatic, but at least that’s how it feels after some pretty tough weeks. Although we do have one behavior getting a tad worse…My heart breaks every time you forcefully bring your beautiful little face to the ground in frustration but I don’t want to talk about that right now. Because there are way too many little big wins we are having. Like the time I pointed to your cup across the…
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I am the one that waits. I wait in traffic on the way to therapy. I wait for the tantrums to pass. I wait anxiously during the haircuts, dentist appointments, doctor’s visits, and in line to pick him up from preschool. I don’t wait the same way, either. Depending on the situation I can be waiting for Mason to finish his play time to transition to a new activity while drinking a relaxing cup of coffee, or I can be in the process of biting my nails off due to…
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My typical daughter, Sasha was recently in her middle school musical. When we were reviewing the performance I mentioned one of the actresses I thought did a great job. “What grade is she in?” I asked. “She’s in seventh grade. She’s Alaina’s age.” My daughter said casually. She’s Alaina’s age? My face dropped. I felt the familiar feelings. A combination of shock and sorrow. That’s what girls in seventh grade are like? This 13 year old girl..she was so..so so older, so funny, so focused, so verbal. I squinted my…
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Having a child changes your whole world….You hear it all the time but honestly, it really does. Once that beautiful baby arrives in the world, the sleep-ins are a thing of the past. Most meals are eaten cold. You find yourself still in your pj’s at 3pm. You wonder how you’re going to get through another day with having had 4 hours sleep the night before. You’re emotional, you’re tired, scared, happy, anxious but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter, because you are now holding your little bundle of joy…
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Am I going to vaccinate my baby? Do I think vaccines cause autism? Did I vaccinate my first two children? I get these questions daily. Typically always from a sweet, curious mother. They wonder what I plan to do. Little do they know that I will never, under any circumstance, answer that question. Some parents hide deep, dark secrets. I hide my opinion on vaccines. Why? Because my answers affect the safety of my children. After my video went viral, people sent me pictures of dead babies. Actual photos of…
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Being a victim sounds horrible but sometimes I think we fail to recognize that at times it is self-induced. I can’t go to the store because my son might throw a tantrum. We cannot afford to have a date night because we cannot find a babysitter. I have no friends. I am going to wait to start my business because of my husband’s work situation. We cannot go on vacation because my son does not transition well and we cannot afford it. I have personally said every single one of…
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I’ve been crying a lot lately. The list of public places in which I’ve broken down is growing and I’m not sure if I should be glad I have the ability to let it all out or if it’s reaching an unhealthy point. A few weeks ago it was a Chic-fil-a while I watched my kids play. There are parking lots all over this city that have seen my tears. My steering wheel has tried to comfort me to no avail. Today, it was the parking lot of an arts…
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One of the hardest things about raising a child who is different is other people. When we’re at the grocery store and my child has an iPhone in her hand, it’s not because I’m lazy. Lazy would be the last word anyone would use to describe my parenting. My child has an iPhone because it comforts her and it keeps her from wriggling out of the shopping cart, screaming at the top of her lungs, running away from me, or melting into a puddle. When we’re at the playground and…
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‘Does Cooper understand that you are pregnant?’ I get that question all the time. Even more as my pregnancy progresses. My honest answer is I don’t know. I truly don’t. Maybe? Maybe not? In our house we assume competency. Cooper is a very smart kid. He is always listening. But, this is a tricky topic for him too. We talk about it every day. We include him in conversation the best we can. We point to my tummy. We are even going to buy a baby doll and start practicing.…
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This morning I watched you sleeping. On a mattress. On the floor. Next to my bed. You were still. There was no sound. No silly songs blaring. No grunts or squeals coming from you. Just breathing. You were not moving. Your arms were not flapping. You were not running or rolling. You looked like an angel. Your body and mind were content. Seeing you still and peaceful Cooper is the most beautiful thing ever. The fact that you are near us at night is very new in our world too.…
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