In the middle December of 2014, my husband, Yuki, and I were going to talk to my parents about the decision that we had made to go through an adoption agency to adopt a child. In March, earlier that year, we had found out that our baby had not made it. No real explanation really…it was the first trimester and the babies heart had stopped. “The good news is that we know you can get pregnant,” the doctor had said. The baby stayed inside of me until October. Yup, you…
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“Don’t worry Sadie, you can hold your ears, I’ll always be here to help you.” These were the words I overheard my five year old Max say to Sadie as I was walking past the bathroom. She was holding her ears and needed help with her pants, without hesitation Max helped her and continued on giving her step by step instructions on how to wash her hands. He’s the brother that never wants to see her upset, he’ll step in to tickle her or make her laugh until she’s forgotten…
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You know what I find to be the hardest part of taking my severely autistic son out in public…And it’s not what you think. It’s not the screaming. Or the meltdowns. Or the running or chasing. Or his anxiety. Or managing my stress on top of his. It’s doing it all under a microscope. The curious stares. The people. The knowing how loud my son is. Knowing what a scene we are indeed making. The praying that nothing really bad happens. The hyper awareness that is needed. The worry. It’s…
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I promised I would give a weekly update on our journey with medical cannabis for our severely autistic son. We are over a month in! We’ve seen amazing, huge, gigantic, breakthroughs. I am so excited to tell you all of them. In week one we saw a reduction in anxiety. In week two we saw improved engagement with his surroundings. In week three Cooper began joining our family in the living room, during meals and in the evenings. Jamie and I learned what it was like to sit down. To…
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Our little family has three children. We have twins (a boy – Nolan and a girl- Harper) who are five and another little girl, Mia, who is almost three. It took us three years, three miscarriages and two rounds of IVF to finally have our twins. I thought that would be the hardest part of our parenting journey. I thought that we had made it to the other side and now we would just be a “normal” family. I was wrong. When Harper, our oldest daughter, was 15 months old…
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In these two photos, the photo on the left is a photo of the chair cushion where our autistic kid sits for his meals. The picture doesn’t come remotely close to showing the extent of the abuse this chair has taken. To give you a comparison, the photo on the right is another chair at the same table where others in the family sit. Yes. The two chairs are from the same set. And yes. The damage is clearly permanent. Our boy is thankfully a pretty good eater (praise God…
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I want to tell you about a feeling that I had for years. A feeling that still creeps up now and then if I let it. It’s the feeling that I am lesser of a mother because my child isn’t typical. It’s that feeling of missing out. It started when my son was very young. Right as it started to get really, really hard. I’m not entirely sure what made me feel that way. Maybe it was society telling me what a mother son relationship ‘should’ be like. Maybe it…
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When your autistic seven year old, who has never once asked you to go to a store to buy something, asks you to go to the store to buy 10 Pokémon cards…you go. First time ever he has asked to go to a store yet alone to buy something. He has no concept of objects, buying things or even money. He’s a pretty simple kid. He knows no greed. Tonight, after finding his brothers cards, he asked us for 10 cards of his own. He has no idea what they…
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Last week, a little boy, who is autistic and nonverbal, died. The story rocked the world of every parent who has a child with special needs. I shared a few updates as it was unfolding and was saddened to see the hate that emerged. Some comments were curious. Many were confused how this could happen. And everyone was heartbroken. I want you to know I know nothing more than you do. I know what I see on the news. That is it. But what I do know is the seriousness…
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To my wonderful son, When you were born, I knew I was going on another adventure in motherhood. I didn’t know that you would make me a much different person than I was then. You learned how to talk at 15 months, gave the best hugs and kisses ever, and started getting into everything you could. By the time you were four, you had already broken your right foot and left arm, had stitches and a small concussion. Your pediatrician called it the “trifecta of childhood”. Along with the adventures…
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