“So your saying that Hudson was recommended for speech therapy…but he isn’t currently receiving those services?” My eyes dropped down to the table in front of me. Without making eye contact with the therapist, I responded “No. I just couldn’t get him to one more appointment during the week.” Boom! Immediate mom guilt set it, and along with it came a flood of emotions that I wasn’t prepared for. First: GUILT How could I as a mother not provide my child with a therapy service that he was recommended for?…
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I don’t want to get out of bed today. It’s going to be another dreary, cloud filled day. My room is dark and there is not an ounce of light peeking through the cracks of my window shade. I am so tired but I know in a few short minutes that I will be needed. I am going to hear my daughter Sunny screaming for me. It’s going to be another hard day of therapy sessions, begging to get her to eat something and begging her not to hurt herself.…
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I love you my son and I’m so, so, so, very proud of all the progress you’ve made in the last couple of years. You’re now at the age where we can really see your autism. You’re at the age where people know when we go out that you’re ‘different.’ Hopefully all of us Mama’s and Dada’s have raised enough awareness that they know you have autism when they stare at you. It’s ok. I see you looking at them. You know they’re staring you don’t care and guess what…I…
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One of the unique parts of autism that I try to share on this page is the relationship Cooper has with his brothers. I’m often asked, ‘Do they play together?’ ‘Do they acknowledge each other?’ ‘What is their relationship like?’ The answer was no, no and non existent. For a lot of years it was so puzzling. If I was to describe it I would say that Cooper quite literally thought he was an only child for the first five years of his life. He was two years old when…
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My sweet Tristan, You amaze me everyday. Even on our hard days I hope you see how much I love you. I love your silly side. I love your playful independence and how you seek joy in your own amazing way. Take me along, sweet boy. Always take your mama along. I want to see how you see and feel how you feel. Tristan, a moment in embedded in my heart. I was singing to you. You started to scream. I said “Do you want me to stop?” You signed…
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“It will get easier when he talks,” said my mom, to me, a first time mom. I’m rocking my crying newborn and googling reflux, colic, and “breast is best.” “It will get easier when he talks,” said my mom, to me, a slightly concerned mom now. Zachary is barely making milestones on time. The doctor ask, “Is he rolling from his back to belly yet?” “Almost!” I said, trying to convince the doctor and myself. And sure enough a month goes by and he does! I assure myself God is…
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Before you were diagnosed sweet boy, I prayed for a lot of things. I prayed for answers. I prayed to find doctors that would listen to me. I prayed for strength to never give up. And I will admit, that I was so scared of the ‘word’ autism, that I prayed it was anything else. A speech delay. A developmental delay. A hearing loss. I prayed that you were just a late bloomer. That you were strong willed. Anything but that word that people were afraid to say out loud.…
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My son Colt is 6 years old with severe non-verbal autism. He is the youngest of 3 boys. It is not easy for all of us to go out together as a family. Going to the movies with Colt is just out of the question. He would rock in his seat and vocalize loudly (if he even stayed in his seat). Bowling? No way, I can just imagine chasing him through the lanes while dodging bowling balls. Going anywhere that is crowded and loud is a huge gamble and takes…
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Puberty has started to rear its head in our home again. We’ve already gotten a taste of it with our 14-year-old son, but now we have a 12-year-old girl in the throes of it; a 12-year-old girl who also happens to have autism. We are only about six months in, and I have already come to the conclusion that autism and puberty go together like oil and water. It’s hard enough for a typical kid to understand all the changes going on within them. Life becomes an emotional whirlwind as…
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Dear Special Needs Moms, I see you at the grocery store, the town office, the parking lots, the pediatric office, the WIC office. I know you are everywhere. I see you with those dark circles under your eyes. I see you with that calm and frazzled expression. I see you trying to hold your child and those big feelings together because the meltdown is coming for your child, or you ( or both) but you are in public. I see you celebrating that moment the world missed because they didn’t…
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