“ Oh but that’s OK for him. He has autism.” I had to blink a few times because I wasn’t quite sure if I heard her correctly. This kind and gentle grandmother standing next to me was actually blaming my sons poor behavior on his autism. What is this OK? Is this really how people viewed children with autism? That every single thing they do- say- think- act- is BECAUSE of their diagnosis? We were both standing at the doorway watching through the Window dance class. It’s a class filled…
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My heart broke yesterday. At lunchtime, my boy rang me to ask me if we could have pizza for tea. Wow I thought…he is using his mobile to talk to me during break! That’s great! I promised we could and he sounded happy. Then BOOM I got a phone call on my way to pick him up to tell me he had left the school grounds and told a teacher to “shut up”! My heart began to race as I drove as quickly as I could to get to him.…
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Whether you are the parent or the audience, there is an awkwardness and discomfort when dealing with a child in public who is pre-meltdown, mid-meltdown, or just hysterical. As parents, we plan an exit strategy. Some of us even do this before we get there. But sometimes (or most of the time) it happens when we least expect it. When we didn’t plan. When there isn’t an easy escape route in site. We find ourselves wondering: Do we really need these groceries? So what if I paid $300 to be here.…
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Dear God, it’s me again. I’m tired today. I can hardly take a breath. I’m so tired of fighting for every single thing my son needs. My head is spinning and I still have so much to do. I’ve been fighting back tears lately and tonight Cody took me by the hand and led me to his room. He took his yearbook down from a shelf and motioned me to sit down with him. As I sat with him on the edge of his bed I waited as he opened…
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I’m going to preface this post by saying that I fully expected the outcome of today, it has been something that I have felt and known for a long time, however, that doesn’t mean that it was easy to manage emotionally. Today was the day that my sweet little girl received her autism diagnosis. We had her developmental pediatrician appointment this morning, an appointment that had been booked for months. We got our morning started without any hassle and made it to the hospital with time to spare. It was…
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You were a gift from the moment the little blue + sign appeared to my young 20-year-old self. You were a literal dream come true. I dreamed of the person you’d be, the memories I’d make with you, what your hobbies would be, your little personality, the sweet voice you would have, and every single little part of being your Mommy. I never imagined it being difficult, because my love for you was already so strong. I was excited to endure everything that I would have to for you and…
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Hear me out… This phrase is our family’s unofficial motto. When you live with severe autism you work so hard every day to make even incremental progress. When you’re at the end of your short rope and sweating from the preparation and execution of the simplest task to enjoy a teensy slice of normal, you can hardly believe it all came together for one shining moment. An autism diagnosis is like having the wind knocked out of you. You know you’re likely to take a deep breath again, but when?…
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Hey there, kiddo. It’s me, your mom. Today you turn nine. Nine. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday I was sitting at our family’s summer camp with a positive pregnancy test in my hand. So excited, waiting to call your Dad to tell him the good news. Wondering, when I could tell your Grandma and Grandpa they were going to become first-time Grandparents. And, to be honest, worrying and hoping that that vacation margarita wasn’t going to be a problem. In other ways, it feels like these past…
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“Is he going to be like this forever?” My seven-year-old niece was quiet and hesitant with her inquiry. Her mom and dad have talked to her about my son’s autism and I was thrilled when they told me that she had some questions for me. I love spreading autism awareness. I especially love talking about my sweet boy and all of the unique, wonderful and challenging pieces that come together to make him so very special. I could barely contain my excitement that someone so young was taking an interest…
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I will never be nominated for “Father of the Year” by any autism association. In fact, by most measures, I am completely inadequate as a father for the special needs my daughter, Lizzie, requires. Patience, understanding and sympathy are not my strong suit. I often come home from work tired and sometimes a little irritable. I worry about the money we have spent on therapy over the last several years. I worry that the decisions of which therapies to use are the right ones. And I worry way too much…
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