“Based on our observation, we believe your son has autism.” The echo of those words lingered in the otherwise silent room. My heart was trying to process what that meant for my son at a frenetic pace, my brain however was reconciling it with all the signs. Yes, this makes sense now! The numerous daycares he’s been kicked out of. The delayed and severely flawed speech development. The lack of interest in the same activities as his peer group. Too many to name really, but it all makes sense. Now…
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Your first child turning 18 is an exciting time in a person’s life, right? A time when the child you grew within you reached the age of legal adulthood. It seems like those 18 years went by in a blink of an eye. A child you raised, guided, and encouraged throughout their childhood actually turned out pretty darn awesome. Your role in their life is different now. The little birdie is getting ready to leave the nest. They are preparing to go out on their own and conquer the world.…
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Dear Kate, I’m writing you because I don’t know who else to say this too. It’s late. 2 am actually. Everyone is sleeping. Although I know my son will be up in a hour. I should be sleeping. But I can’t. My son was diagnosed today with autism. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I mean, I knew. We all knew. He has no words. He doesn’t even try to communicate. I overhead one of the aides in his preschool say she has never met a boy quite so autistic.…
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This morning my six year old was talking to his baby brother. I was running around getting lunches ready. We were running a bit late. And after a night of no sleep the morning felt never ending. I peeked over and saw Sawyer head first in Harbor’s car seat. He was talking to him in his loving, brotherly voice. ‘It’s your brother Harbor. Your big brother. I just love you baby.’ My heart absolutely melted. I watched Harbor stop fussing and grin at Sawyer. Those two. Already two peas in…
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My son has been having some pretty big breakthroughs lately. He’s been trying new foods. An apple, a grilled cheese, a hamburger and even his first French fry. He’s been more vocal. Calmer. Happier. His anxiety seems to be going down. All huge wins in our autism world. So, yesterday I asked him if he wanted to go to Target, like I have before. For the last 6 or so years when I ask him if he wants to leave the house the answer is always no. Well, he immediately…
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The nights are the toughest when I’m alone with my boys while my husband is at work. Just now, putting my autistic son to sleep, my almost three-month-old baby boy cries. Gabe, who is six, is instantly anxious. He starts covering his ears, starts humming and whistling loudly. I wait a bit to see if the baby will stop, but he doesn’t. I explain to Gabe that mommy will have to check on the baby. He follows me to the room where the baby is, all the while whistling and…
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My oldest child, my twin, and the one I’ve sometimes wanted to bust in the chin. Sarcasm, or na? See what I did there. A rhyme for you. I bet you don’t have the slightest clue, but it’s true, God gave me you! You were the one who made me a Mama, more than 25 years ago. I was a mere 20 something years old, when you came. You were a gift from God, ain’t he good! You my daughter, bring joy to my day, come what may. Many times…
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The days are long but full of so much joy. We spend every waking moment devoted to our kids and a lot of sleepless night when our brains won’t let us sleep. We IEP, we advocate and we constantly search for services. We clean up the same hoard piles 19 times a day, we do therapy and we handle meltdowns like a champ. We get so busy just living with Autism that we forget to live. We forget to take care of ourselves. The guilt that comes with taking time…
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Autism is the most perplexing thing ever. The saying “when you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” couldn’t be any more true. The way it manifests in every child differently. The way it can break your heart by watching your child struggle with what would be the simplest of tasks to a typical child. They way it isolates you from the rest of world. It can make you feel so alone. The regressions it causes. It can make you feel hopeless. Autism can be a…
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You know that old saying…kids say the darndest things? Well, sometimes they draw them too. Last night, I opened up my son’s backpack to pull out his work from the day. And found this gem. I immediately burst out laughing. He is in Kindergarten and I love to see what he brings home. I gathered my composure and asked him to tell me about his drawing. His response, ‘It’s obviously a beach tower mom.’ Which I responded with, ‘Obviously.’ I found my husband and said, ‘I may have the maturity…
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