It was a few years ago. Five years to be exact. Cooper had just been diagnosed. We now had a reason for the behaviors. A reason why he had no words. Why he couldn’t sit still. Why he screamed. Why he refused to sleep and eat. Why Jamie and I were so exhausted. And worried. And scared. We knew why. I had recently told you. Over the phone of course. It was one of our weekly conversations. We talked about the weather first. Then football. My job. And then Jamie.…
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I’ve been scouring the internet like a crazy person for the past 3 months. I’ve downloaded all of the packets from autism websites. I’ve obsessed over all of the milestones that we aren’t hitting. All of the red flags. I’ve called specialists and early intervention and therapists. I’ve read and watched and listed to articles, videos, and podcasts about research and diets and advice for parents of newly diagnosed. I’ve read all the blogs and sought out wisdom from mothers who have been on this journey for a while. All…
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It’s just after 11pm. My nonverbal autistic son is usually (and by usually I mean always) in bed (and by bed I mean on the floor behind the door of his room) by 8:45pm. Not tonight. Dawson has been impressing me with all of his newly founded abilities, which he performs independently. Putting his dishes in the sink. Putting his shoes away. Pulling his pants up when he is done with the restroom. Climbing on top of things to access what he feels he needs…you wouldn’t believe the type of…
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I never knew a child could have anxiety. I fully admit that. If you would’ve told me five years ago that anxiety could completely control a child’s life, and the child’s family’s lives, I would have probably laughed at you. I would have said something like, ‘what does a child have to be anxious about?’ I was ignorant. I didn’t know. I was naïve. I was clueless. Well, the universe had a way of showing me. My son’s anxiety is brutal. It controls every aspect of his life. It controls…
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“She doesn’t look autistic.” “Are you sure?” “Autism is just the new ADHD.” “Oh, I would have never known.” “But she’s so pretty!” These are all responses I have heard when I first tell someone about my daughter’s autism diagnosis. I am always walking a fine line when it comes to telling people. It’s not because I’m embarrassed or don’t want to talk about it. I am a proud mom and autism is not a bad word in our home (disability in general is not). No, I usually don’t want…
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Sharing our families huge wins is one of my favorite things to do on this page. Because I know how hard we worked for them. And how so many other families are working towards them too. Before we had the baby, Jamie and I agonized about Cooper’s lack of car safety. He would throw, kick, flail, even rock in his car seat so ferociously that the whole car would rock. We did everything we could to work on his tolerance. We did social stories. We rewarded. We split the boys…
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I’m sitting here on my lonely bench, watching the friends I grew up with laugh, enjoy each other’s company and continue to build the amazing relationships that I SO desperately want to be apart of. I’m watching what should have been my life right before me and it stings hard. Like only the raw, heartbroken teenage-outcast burn can sting. Except….. I’m not a teenager. These are not my friends and this is not my life…but damn it feels so hard on my heart. Honestly, this is the best way I…
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So often in our lives, we only care about what is happening in our own lives. I get that. We are all human. We advocate and pay attention to the things that affect us. Our day-to-day lives. I’m guilty of it too. But yesterday, something was proposed that was wrong. And I don’t mean a little bit wrong. I mean a lot wrong. So wrong, that I honestly can’t believe that it is even a possibility. And if you know me, you know I don’t get political very often. Mostly,…
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Ever since the age of 7, when I got the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” my response has always been “A teacher!”. I was one of the lucky ones who never had a single doubt about what I wanted to be, I went to college with a plan, in four years I would be in a classroom full of 20 or so little smiling faces that I would get to call my class! It only took me one semester to figure out that being…
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I have seen your comments on my favorite blogs. I have thought about your stance. I could feel your frustration with mine. I can imagine and see your side of this. But I would be lying if I said I fully understood it. And I don’t think you fully understand mine. But I hope you can try to understand my thoughts as much as I am trying to understand yours. From the moment I gave birth to my beautiful girl, I have never felt so in tune with another human…
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