Sometimes I wonder why. I would be lying to you if I said I never wondered why. Why our family? Why me? Why my son? Why him? We are nothing special. We aren’t any stronger than anyone else. We aren’t super parents. I don’t know if God chose us. Or if special kids are given to special people. Or if we have Cooper because we are strong enough to handle the challenges that come with him. I don’t feel like that stuff is true. Not really. I think that’s just…
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Dear son, On the eve of your 4th Birthday, I want you to know that you are loved beyond measure plus infinity forever. Autism has nothing to do with the fact that I am blessed to be your Mama. The love and joy that you have brought to my life is beyond anything I could ever have imagined. You make me smile EVERY single day. When I saw you for the first time, I couldn’t believe how beautiful and perfect you were, and I feel the same way today. You…
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Autism you won. It was one of those days. A day you felt like a dump truck has repeatedly hit you over and over again. Tears that continue to flow. Nothing is stopping them. I am hurting. I am hurting because I can’t figure out what is making my son so frustrated. I can’t figure out what is causing his meltdowns. Autism is hard. There is no sugar coating it. It hit me extremely hard today. I just became so overwhelmed with emotions today. The feeling of my anxiety taking…
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Sometimes, I let myself dream about you talking Cooper. I’ll be honest, it’s less and less lately. And not for sad reasons. Don’t think that for a second. But because you are communicating so well with your speech device. That’s our focus. As long as you can tell us if you are thirsty, or hungry, or if something hurts, then I am good. I care about your needs sweet boy. I need those met. I need to know that you lack for nothing. And I need you happy. Above all.…
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It is time we appreciate the underappreciated and uncelebrated dads who make up half of special needs parenting. It is part of our culture to glorify motherhood whereas the struggles of a father are seldom talked about. Special needs fatherhood can be especially lonely. They often don’t have a support system and men in our society are often discouraged to show the vulnerable side of their personality. These are the men who work twice as hard, who make difficult decisions for the sake of their families. Who are mocked and…
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Our almost 6 year old nonverbal wonder has been having a tough time recently. In short ongoing seizures. With numerous visits to doctors and hospitals anxiety runs high in our household. For any family a visit to see any medical professional is daunting but for families of special needs children the experience takes on a whole new set of challenges; busy waiting rooms, loud noises, bright lights, clinical hard surroundings and long queues! These environments take a toil on everyone. Added to this is a child with autism’s unique expressive…
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Someone I know is dying. Someone who is in my life. She has a spouse. And kids. Grandkids. A sibling. A home. Friends. Hobbies. Faith. A life. A very full life. She is a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. She found out a year ago that she has cancer. I remember when she told me. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Probably because she is such a good person. Bad things don’t happen to good people. So happy. So optimistic. I knew cancer was bad. But she…
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My son’s teacher sent me a beautiful picture of my son with his classmates outside and enjoying the day a few minutes before I headed to pick him up. They had an egg hunt today at school and colored Easter eggs. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a police officer telling me that my son could not leave the building. (Special Needs pick up is 30 minutes prior to school letting out) I was hysterical. He said I could sit in the lobby or wait in my car and explained…
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When you are nonverbal, it takes unbelievable strength to leave your home, where it’s safe and people understand you, to go out into the world. Imagine people not listening to you. Looking at them. Needing something. But the words don’t come out. Just screams. Grunts. You know what you want. It’s pretty simple to you. A drink of water. A specific show on your Kindle. Or imagine your ear hurts. Or the noise is too loud. It’s so obvious. But people just stare. So you scream some more. Frustration rises.…
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So, it’s Autism Awareness month and if you are like me you kinda giggle when you get to the “awareness” part. Pretty sure most people are aware that autism exists but depending on what generation they fall in, autism exists in their mental image catalog as scenes from “Rainman” or the “Good Doctor” or “Atypical” all of which represent my daughter Isla, well, ZERO. Not even close. Here is just a quick look at some of the more common assumptions floating around and I’ll let Isla help me squash those…
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