Posts

The 4 Things that Helped our Son the Most

May 17, 2019

Many of you have been following our story for years. Some even since Cooper was three when I started this blog. You’ve seen the ups and downs. The highs and the lows. You watched me struggle. And Cooper too. Severe autism is a roller coaster. There is no doubt about that. Today, he is 8 and doing so great. He is potty trained, sleeping, walking in the community, acknowledging people and his brothers, and starting to communicate. Yes, his diagnosis is still severe, nonverbal autism with a side of Apraxia…

Read More

Having ‘That Child’

May 17, 2019

This is an open letter of sort to those that say that they could never deal with “that child.” You hear a lot about people saying they could not or would not have “that type of child.” Let me tell you about “that child” and those that love and care for them. That child has a heart bigger than most. That child has been through more than most “typical children” in a short period of time. That child has had to go through more surgeries, tests and invasive things than…

Read More

Beauty in the Broken-ness

May 16, 2019

The older he gets, I often find myself focusing on the things my son Benjamin struggles with.  Because naturally, the older he gets, the harder things become for him. It is a knee jerk reaction to hone in on the difficulties he’s experiencing because as his mother I want to “fix it” for him; I don’t want him to continue to struggle with things most children his age have no problem with. But the fact of the matter is, he will always be blind, and he may or may not…

Read More

Those Keyboard Warriors Though

May 16, 2019

One of my dear friends is going through some cyber bullying. She is a blogger. She is amazing. She talks and writes about injustices, her family, her life and her son Amos. Who not only happens to be the cutest child ever, but also has autism. She shared some screen shots with me this morning and I instantly started to sweat. I’ve been there. It will literally take your breath away and feel like you have been sucker punched the first time someone comes at you online. And the second…

Read More

The Box of Kleenex on the Table

May 16, 2019

On the 24th of August, my husband and I sat hand in hand to finish a year long diagnostic journey to understand why our son Romeo lives in such silence. I could feel Gerardo’s fingers stroke my knuckles as the words spilled from the specialists mouth. As they sat and explained therapies, research, support groups…my mind wandered to the Kleenex box on the table. My child wasn’t sick, his life wasn’t in danger and the world didn’t stop turning. Romeo didn’t stop being Romeo. We just had a name for…

Read More

It’s the Isolation that Got Us

May 15, 2019

My son is starting to communicate. It’s almost unbelievable to me. If you would have told me a year ago that my son would even attempt to say words I wouldn’t have believed you. If you would have told me two years ago that he would be potty trained I also would have probably laughed at you. Not because he isn’t smart and amazing. But because it just seemed so impossible at the time. But I was wrong. He is blowing us away lately. He has started dressing himself. He…

Read More

Please Allow Me to Feel the Hard Parts

May 15, 2019

Mother’s day has always been hard for me. Growing up with a single dad and a mother who was not a part of my life, (and when she was, caused a lot of heartache, confusion, and chaos) I always hated Mother’s Day. I have had some amazing women in my life step up and try to help take the place of an absent mother, but I’ll be honest and say that nothing ever fills that void. I thought becoming a mother would help though. I wanted nothing more than to…

Read More

That Day was the Beginning of Me

May 15, 2019

My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old, which I jokingly (well sort of) say he got from his mother. We are both high strung, multi-tasking, over analyzing, high functioning anxiety stricken people. He was challenging as teachers put it but I totally got him. It was not a challenge in that I felt like I was looking in the mirror at myself and I could totally relate. My youngest son began having issues very early on but not in the typical autistic way. And it was…

Read More

Sometimes I Forget

May 14, 2019

Sometimes I forget that my daughter has autism. This may sound strange because of all the private therapies we do, the targeted activities at home to encourage her development, her specialized preschool, and more. It is as if our whole world revolves around autism, and yet the autism fades because all we see is our daughter. Sometimes I Forget She is Behind Ruby has been doing so well with her school and therapies. Just in the last 9 months she has made tremendous growth. She went from saying 1-2 word…

Read More

I was the Gloom and Doom Mom

May 13, 2019

Yesterday, I celebrated my eighth Mother’s Day. I’m not sure how that is possible but I did the math and it is indeed right. I have three boys. Each delightfully amazing in their own way. Cooper is 8. He is the happiest boy you will ever meet. He has taught me more about life than anyone or anything else. He is my shadow. I am his person and he is mine. I have Sawyer who is 6. He is incredible and pushes me to my limits daily. He is smart,…

Read More