I know two things to be true: My son has severe, debilitating anxiety. And, it’s not his fault. I want to say that to you again. So it sinks in. And while I do, I want you to picture our family. Jamie, me, the boys. Out in the community. Sawyer playing. The baby in his stroller. And one of us holding Cooper. Or chasing Cooper. It’s clear that he is struggling. It’s clear that we aren’t enjoying ourselves. Maybe we asked him to walk to the car. Or turn right…
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Sometimes autism slaps you in the face and man does it sting. Today, was one of those days. Most days we are plugging along, going to therapy, school and work and although autism is always there (Franklin is 4 and nonverbal so believe me it’s always there) it’s background noise. Franklin and Scarlett are healthy and happy and so is our family. But then something as simple as a haircut, changes everything and autism is smack in your face, rearing its ugly head. We have been putting it off for…
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When my son was diagnosed with autism five years ago, I knew we were in for a challenge. And I don’t just mean the fight for services or supports, I just knew my little guy was a pistol. At that time, he didn’t sleep. At all. He was up all night and started our day around 4 am. I also knew that he hated all foods. And refused to eat almost everything. I knew he couldn’t communicate. And refused to participate. I knew everything was a fight. He refused to…
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“They say he has autism.” I didn’t go with my wife to the appointment with the developmental pediatrician that day. I had taken a couple sick days not too long before then, and I didn’t think it would be prudent to take another off. I remember telling her I wasn’t worried about what we were going to hear. “He’s just a little behind,” I had said, confident in the outcome of the appointment. “I was behind. I had to go to therapy and all that. Look, he’s only two. We’ve…
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Life is all about perspective. And how you look at it. Having a son with severe, nonverbal autism has changed everything for me. I’m learning as I go. I’m getting stronger while giving myself grace to accept and grow. Sawyer and I just got home from the store. He spent his birthday money on a Lego set. He was so excited to go, choose (that’s half the fun!), and pay. He’s been anticipating our trip for days. He even did a few chores around the house today to earn extra…
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It’s 9 a.m. and my toddlers are eating popsicles. They are content (even quiet?) in their car seats behind me as we drive to ABA therapy. We are going on year three of “potty training” (I could call it a lot of other things) with my son Wilson, who is almost five years old and on the autism spectrum. He really pulled one over on me this morning with the new potty sticker chart by managing to sit and pee in the toilet four times more often than he would…
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There are parts of autism that the world simply doesn’t talk about. The ugly parts. The scary parts. And the sad parts. No one talks about physical aggressions or self injuring. Or fecal smearing. Or even what happens to nonverbal, severe kids when they grow up. And I don’t just mean age 20. I mean age 60, long after their parents are dead. Do they go into nursing homes? Who cares for them? Instead, we hear about the beautiful parts of autism. And the dramatic ones. The newsworthy ones. You…
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We’ve lived with autism for four years, some days it feels much longer. I’ve always wanted kids, wanted what you see on TV, in magazines and what your parents teach you. A boy and a girl. A perfect family. But what is perfect? Four years ago we had our first child, a gorgeous little boy that melted our hearts with his wonderful smile and infectious laugh. However, from a very young age things never felt right. He slept for an hour at the most at any one time, refused to…
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I don’t understand you Cooper. And I really don’t understand autism. Do you know that I used to think autism was an actual thing. Like an object. Mom would say you have autism. And you’d get a cookie. Or get to have your Kindle at dinner. And I’d want autism too. Only, I didn’t have it. I was the different one. Mom and dad always say that they don’t have to worry about me. I guess because I don’t have autism. And I guess because I talked. And potty trained…
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Four years ago I sat across from a speech therapist, whom I loved very much. She looked at me and said, ‘Kate, you need to prepare yourself for nonverbal forever. You need to acknowledge a world where Cooper doesn’t speak.’ I remember I felt like my world ended. I learned after years of self growth that she said it to me with love. She knew I needed to hear it. We just left a speech evaluation. Probably our twentieth over the years. Only this one was different than all the…
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