I used to get so upset when people stared at you. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Screeches. Grunts. High pitched screams. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be melting down. Screaming. Either way it almost sounds the same. Loud. I’d look around. Make eye contact. And look away. I’d think in my head, stop. Stop Cooper. Stop drawing attention to yourself. To us. Everyone knows. But it’s not for…
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We were swimming in the pool at the hotel. It was our fourth time in two days. My boys love water. It’s the one and only activity that the two oldest will actually do together. It’s also an activity that we can all enjoy. We would spend all of our time in the pool if we could. Sawyer is always drawn to other kids. He’s been that way his whole life. If he sees a little kid enter the water, he will be with him or her. Cooper, he’s oblivious.…
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To the mother with her adult son at Thomas the Train: You had the oldest child here. I’m guessing he was 25. Your son was tall. He was a man. He even towered over you. I saw him immediately when you arrived. He was practically levitating he was so excited. It was like he had an aura around him. His joy. It radiated. He ran in. Loud. Arms a moving. He ran right up to Thomas and started chatting to himself. Fingers stimming. Head down. Twisting back and forth like…
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I had an interesting experience this past week. My husband and I volunteered to be apart of a research study looking at how having a child with autism affects our marriage. There were a lot of expected questions like, “what things are more challenging when you have a child with autism compared to other families?”, and “how do you cope with the stress as a married couple”. Some of the questions were hard to answer, some were very easy. There was one question that struck me to the core that…
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Stop emailing me. Stop emailing parents like me. Stop. Just stop. Remove us from your mailing list. Leave us alone. Please. Because while I’m weathered enough now to not get my hopes up and fall for these things, many parents aren’t yet. You are preying on families. Moms and dads of newly diagnosed children who have just heard the word autism said out loud for the first time about their beautiful child. ‘Give your child this pill and their autism will be gone.’ ‘Have your child watch this video and…
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July 8th. That date will sit in my head forever. It was the day my son Carter was diagnosed with autism. As his mom knew for about a year before that Carter might have a delay or be “different”. He wasn’t speaking or doing simple things that other kids his age were doing. But before I really noticed anything with Carter his dad and I decided we wanted him to have a sibling. I grew up close with my sisters and I wanted that for my children. Being pregnant with…
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If you run in the special needs parenting circles you’ve heard about the segment The Today Show did on how big of a relief it was for the former Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband to get the test results back that their baby did not have Down Syndrome and was “genetically healthy”. I actually was watching The Today Show the morning it was aired. One thing I thought was a bit distasteful was how they were teasing it up in the promos. Like, tune in, hopefully there is…
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Special needs parenting is rough. I’m not gonna sugar coat it anymore. It is the single most hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The first two years were pretty typical, I always looked to my friends for mom advice. Diaper cream, sippy cups etc. The last three have been hard. I don’t have anyone to ask for advice anymore. It’s just us. My husband, our pre-verbal ASD son and me. We make a great team and my son is the MVP. He is tough, smart and even though…
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A long time ago, back before the diagnosis, before autism was a word in our vocabulary, I had a little boy. He was two years old. He had blonde hair and hazel eyes. He was busy. So busy. He never stopped moving. Sometimes not even when he was sleeping. He was rarely happy or content. He screamed in the car. He screamed when we were outside. He screamed in restaurants and stores. No matter what we did, he wasn’t happy. I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t know what…
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You see a boy and a baby. It’s so much more than that. I see an 8-year-old boy and a 9 month old baby. Brothers. The boy is sitting in his driveway. Outside. Near a road. Safely. Sitting. He isn’t running. He isn’t eloping. He is calmly sitting. Next to his baby brother. A baby brother who is touching him. Leaning into him. Reaching for his tablet. Touching his arm and his leg. If you could hear you would hear Barney singing the ABC’s. The boy is babbling about the…
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