Once upon a time, you were just a small girl, but now you are almost grown-up. At the age of 16, I have realized just how quick adulthood is coming, and how this is the time I dreaded for so long. When you were little, and I knew something was different, I knew that something wasn’t completely right. I didn’t know what to do, I was young and I was naive and thought that it would change. I thought that maybe it was a” phase”, that the talking would come,…
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In November 2016, my son, Jasper, had recently turned 4 years old and I finally decided to do it. If not for me, for him. My mother and other family members kept suggesting that something wasn’t right. I had already started him in speech therapy and preschool to work on his delayed language skills. Jasper’s teachers even suggested it could only help, not hurt. I thought he just had some learning deficits or was a slow starter and he just needed patience. I didn’t want it to be true. My…
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I remember the first time that I had this feeling. My daughter Liz was around 5 or 6 years old and it was school picture day. She was so proud of the new dress that she was wearing for the photos. When I picked her up from school that day, she had jam on the front of her dress and my heart sank. A few weeks later, the pictures came home from school. Sure enough, in the photos there was jam on her dress and there were tears in her…
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My son, It’s been over 4 years since your mom and I found out we was going to have a baby. I remember when she told me. I was excited, but I was freaking out too. I always wanted a son or daughter. That was what I was excited about. I was nervous, because of the troubles your mother and I have had trying to have a baby. We had miscarriages, and we done testing. We did not know if having a child was in the cards for us. You…
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Perfectionism, everyone has experienced it in some way. For certain people, it commonly occurs within academics, whereas for others, it can be apparent in their job or home. However, for people with disabilities, perfectionism can be heightened due to the need to prove society wrong, and turn the “can’ts” into “cans.” I am a graduate student, studying to be a mental health counselor. How does that statement alone make me unique? Well, I use a communication device due to cerebral palsy. I am the first person in my program to…
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Recently, my son Stalen and I were getting groceries. The cashier was super nice and began talking to me as she scanned our stuff. She also tried to strike up a conversation with Stalen. When he didn’t respond to her she asked me if he was shy. I quickly told her that he has autism and is non-verbal. She asked, “will he ever talk”? I felt myself cringe and I could feel the lady in line behind me leaning in. It wasn’t the question that bothered me, it was the…
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‘Mama, I want to get a bait caster. It’s for fishing. Then I can catch huge ones like dad.’ Pause. Silence. ‘Mama, when you chew gum and then drink water, does it feel weird in your mouth?’ ‘Sometimes I guess.’ ‘Yeah, I don’t like it one bit. Maybe I won’t chew gum anymore. But I like gum. Maybe I won’t drink water. Yes, that’s a better idea.’ Giggle. Pause. Silence. ‘Mama, what is 6 plus 6?’ ’12 buddy.’ ‘Oh, what’s 12 plus 6 because that’s how many bait casters that…
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There are a lot of things I allow on this page. Healthy debate for one. Constructive, respectful criticism for another. Why? Because that’s how we all learn. We only know what we know. And let’s be honest, most of us are living in parenting bubbles. I am not at an expert parenting level yet, even with three boys. But, there is one thing I do not allow. It’s pretty simple really. It’s criticizing the value of my child’s life. Or any other life for that matter. Autistic or not. Sick.…
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A few weeks ago, Sawyer received a handwritten letter in the mail from a boy named Dylan. He is 13. He has a brother with autism too. I sobbed when I read it. This little boy’s letter started a conversation I have been so desperately wanting to have with my son. Thank you Dylan and his mom. Take a read. Dear Sawyer, My name is Dylan and I am 13 years old and live in Texas. My mom watches your mom on the computer. She told me about you and…
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To my son on his 3rd birthday: You’ve been through so much in your first three years of life. And no I’m not just talking about the eight surgeries you had before you were two years old. Or the daily therapy sessions and weekly doctor appointments. I’m talking about your relationship with your two siblings. Your brother has Autism and is sensitive to touch. Your sister prefers to be by herself and likes her space. I see you making friends everywhere we go. The park, the grocery store, restaurants, whoever…
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