I’ve been sitting on this for a long time. I never wrote it into words because I didn’t feel I had the adequate vocabulary to do. I still don’t but I think that’s the point. Seven years ago I met my now boyfriend. He was weird. Everyone was weird to me, including myself. We never really spoke until 2 years ago. It started when I reached out because I was worried about him. He talked to me in a way I knew he didn’t talk to anyone else. I didn’t…
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On the way home from a special needs event I was actually able to talk my daughter into attending, we stopped at Starbucks drive through. As I waited in line, I watched people getting out of their cars and going inside. Families laughing and enjoying the Florida sunshine. Most were probably tourists, since I was about 15 min from the gates of Disney World. We got our drinks and then I hopped on the interstate to head home. We had a really good day today. Casadee attended the special rodeo…
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Tomorrow my son will start in your classroom. It will be our first real time spent apart since he was born. I worry you won’t like him. I’m afraid he’ll be too much for you to handle. Everyone tells me this will be good for him…good for me. I hope you love him like your own. Chances are, my little guy will have no idea I’ve even dropped him off because he lives in his own world. He will probably grab your hand and happily go with you because he…
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I’m sitting here, basically in shock. Shock of the ignorance of people, wondering if it ever has an end. I’ll start by saying that I love my job (well, loved). I thrive in that chaos. I love new and challenging things. I feel like my life has been one giant challenge since August 17th, 2010 – the day my daughter was born. It definitely started off pretty quickly. They had us stay in the hospital for two days after I gave birth to her. The evening I brought her home,…
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I thought I would be a boy mom. A baseball mom. A hockey mom. A social mom. A mom with a lot of friends. A cool mom. A successful mom. Autism challenged every one of those titles for me. I am brave enough to say that. The role of special needs mom overpowered it all. It turned my whole world completely upside down. And inside out. And backwards. It demanded I slow down. And move faster at the same time. It demanded I speak out and yet learn to hold…
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Four years ago, when my autistic son was four years old, I took him to Target. He had just been diagnosed with autism. Life was just starting to get more challenging. The list of places we could go and things we could do was getting smaller. Anything outside of our home was nearly impossible. He struggled to walk, to ride in a cart or stroller, to be calm, to wait, you name it…we felt it. But I needed something from Target. I needed to pick up a prescription. I needed…
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The company where I work does a job for a regular customer a couple times a year. She has a child who’s somewhere on the autism spectrum. From the few times that I have actually seen her, she seems to be fairly verbal, and smart. But, she has also been in the same school as Amelia for most of her life. Although, I think, its been off and on for the last few years. The mother is an older lady. In her eighties, I believe. The daughter is somewhere in…
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Severe autism, level 3 was my son’s first diagnosis. But I’m not supposed to talk about it. Severe learning/intellectual disability was my son’s second diagnosis, I’m allowed to talk about this one. Most children with this level of autism have very complex issues and learning disabilities. You can talk freely about most disabilities and special needs without being shamed. Autism is not one of them. Some severely autistic children will live at home forever, or in a residential home. Some severely autistic children will still need help with all of…
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This baby is so in love with his older brother. He stares at him. Follows him everywhere. Wants to be right next to him. Touches his things. Giggles at his sounds. Climbs on him. He isn’t scared. He doesn’t know he’s nonverbal. Autism isn’t a thing to him. This is his big brother. His amazing big brother. And Cooper is doing unbelievable tolerating him. 10 months ago I was so scared. Tears of worry were shed. They are growing up together. I can’t wait to see where this relationship ends…
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He had just turned three years old. It was Mother’s Day weekend. My third one. I picked him up from daycare and she said…’He refused to put his hand in paint and I don’t do art projects for kids. You don’t care about my work.’ I remember watching all the kids toddle up to their moms carrying little messily wrapped packages. Huge smiles from the kids, so excited to show off their homemade gift. My son was sitting in the dirt driveway. Picking up the sand, sifting it through his…
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