Why is it so hard to get services for our kiddos? Why do I feel that I am the only one who sees him? The real him. The fun, silly and loving him. Why do I have to annoy the school constantly….reminding them of who he is and how amazing he is? 4 weeks into school and every week (sometimes daily) it’s been something. He is not mean or aggressive….he is autistic and preverbal. He doesn’t understand what THEY want. He can’t communicate what HE wants. I’m saying what I…
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Every trip to the store ends the same way – with my son screaming and flailing on the floor. It is inevitable and without fail. It doesn’t matter what kind of distractions I use, what type of approach or discipline, he is a ticking time bomb, and within 15 to 20 minutes I will need to leave. It makes it impossible to finish any type of trip to the store or anywhere else really. I would be completely mortified when he screamed, eventually leaving the store in desperation with a…
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We were married in the Lutheran faith and had to give up our precious weekend to attend a weekend of pre-marital counseling sessions. It was long and seemed completely unnecessary because we were madly in love. The class was centered on ‘deep’ questions that prompted discussion between couples. How would you handle a partner with an addiction? Or a partner that lies? A partner who gambles? We obviously didn’t have those problems since we were best friends so we breezed through. Oh the arrogance of twenty-something kids. Jamie and I…
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I have this memory burned in my brain. And if you follow me I speak of it often. I was a first time mom. My son was 2 years old and Early Intervention was sitting in my living room. Red flags had been identified as they say. The nice woman had a booklet…it had to be a 100 pages long. Her job was to figure out what my son couldn’t do. Question after question. Always, often, sometimes, never, unknown. Bubbles filled in as we went along. It was awkward and…
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So something really weird happened the other day… I called a dentist to schedule an appointment for my son and the conversation went like this… Me: “Hi my name’s Amber and I was wondering if I could schedule an initial consult for my son? He’s 5 years old and I should mention he has autism.” Receptionist: “We don’t take kids with autism.” Me: “ummmmmmm….what do you mean you don’t take kids with autism?” Receptionist: “Cause of their autism medicine, we don’t deal with that here.” Me: “Ummmmmm… What’s autism medicine?” Receptionist: “The…
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I know being his big brother is different than you imagined… You were 4 when I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. You knew mommy was pregnant before this but the baby didn’t make it and we would try again. You were beyond excited. You told me you secretly wished it would be a sister but you were totally ok if it turns out to be a brother. After we found out for sure it was a boy you exclaimed “oh, I change my mind mommy I’m so excited to…
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One of the ways I work with my son Cooper is by setting goals. At any given time, I have 2 or 3 different things we are working on. Going out in the community, using a fork, drinking from a cup, waving, eating a new food, and so on. Some goals take a short time to accomplish. Some take years. But I stick with them. It helps me as a mom to make a list. Otherwise I feel overwhelmed by everything he needs to learn. Here are a few of…
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Sawyer, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being mine. For being here. For growing up. For keeping me firmly grounded in reality. For being easy. And simple. And letting autism be in control when it needs to be. Thank you for asking me questions. And telling me stories. For playing sports. And having playdates and birthday parties. Thank you for giving me all the milestones and memories that a mother dreams of. But mostly, thank you for being you. I want to tell you a few things.…
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My son said to me today, “ I want home to be fun”. So, I wrote both of my boys a letter. It’s long, but my heart was heavy. A letter to my boys ( and other siblings) of newly diagnosed kids with special needs: No one told you your path in this world would take a sudden turn. It would get bumpy and rocky and sometimes you’d be hanging on for dear life to the edge of mom’s last ounce of patience before it would straighten out for a…
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I recently found out I had a challenging kid. Now I say that with a smile on my face and the love of a mother. I mean, I knew. Of course I knew. My son is nonverbal with severe autism. He is also a big kid. We’ve had our challenges. Our ups and downs. But I guess I didn’t know just how challenging he could be, and often is, every day. And I know why. Home is his safe space. We don’t challenge him at home like they do in…
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