This morning I had a conversation with my nonverbal son. A real one without words. To all of the mamas and dads out there with children who do not speak verbally, hang on. Never give up hope. Keep working towards functional communication. I sat on the couch drinking my coffee. He sat next to me immersed in his trains. I asked him if something happened at school yesterday. He grunted ‘yea.’ I asked him if there was a little boy who frustrates him. He grunted ‘yea.’ Now this isn’t the…
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We’re pretty new to this whole scene. We had our “Autism Ah-ha moment” about 6 months ago. My son has no creative speech, eats his five favorite foods, and sleeps sporadically. He won’t look you in the eye and he’s uncomfortable in a crowd. I used to feel stymied. I was consistent with nap and bedtimes, why was he still sleep deprived? I took the pediatrician’s advice and offered him a variety of foods multiple times, why wouldn’t he eat? Before I understood how my son experiences the world, I…
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A while back my son was kicked by a person that was supposed to be caring for him. It happened one day and I didn’t find out until the next. He came home from school like any other day. He was happy. He was smiling. He asked for a cookie and his Kindle. We played. Had dinner. Took a walk and then a bath. And he went to bed. I had no idea he had been kicked multiple times at school that day. The next morning I received a phone…
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Things I said to my son Sawyer on our family walk: 1. Wait up. Hurry up. Wait for me. Stay close. Stay on the path. That is not a trail. 2. Please stay out of the puddles. Seriously dude, must you jump in every single puddle. 3. Sawyer, put your shoes on. You are going to hurt your feet. 4. No, I didn’t bring a band-aid for your foot. I told you you’d get hurt walking barefoot. 5. I love it so much. (He gave me 3 super cool rocks…
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Things that stress my husband out as a parent: 1. Cheeto hands touching the walls and furniture. 2. Slime. 3. Candy wrappers on the floor, couch, table. 4. Screaming and crying in the car. 5. Kids messing around in the garage near the vehicles. Especially on bikes. 6. Hockey sticks, bats, swords in the house. 7. Crumpled up socks tossed on the floor. 8. Messy vehicles. Especially mine. 9. When his tools aren’t put back and when he can’t find a tool (or really anything) in general. 10. When fruit…
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If you would have told me a year ago that my son and I would walk calmly into a dentist’s office, check in, wait patiently in the waiting room watching Moana, walk calmly to the room, and lie in the chair I would have thought you were crazy. And if you would have went onto to tell me that my son would have his teeth flossed and brushed with no problems, and after allow the dentist to do his exam, I would have probably thought you were really crazy. Parents…
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THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN WHEN MY SON WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM: To tackle guilt from the very beginning. To focus on self-care earlier on. To make finding peace a priority. To not judge my beginnings so harshly. To focus on the good more, even when it was hardest to find. To stand up for myself sooner. To realize that the child I have right now is not the child I will have a year from now. To stop worrying so much about my child. He will be…
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Picture this. You are in a relationship. It’s new and exciting. There’s so much potential! Oh, all the things that you will do together. You will grow together, learn from each other and your love will grow. They love you so much. You can tell. They get comfort from your hugs and you love doing things for them. They light up when you enter the room. It’s all so lovely! Picture this. They stop talking to you. Car rides are silent. It’s like a one way street. You try and…
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When Mason’s therapists and I hit a roadblock, I turned to my special needs support group for ideas on why Mason was so apt to keep his brother from enjoying anything outside of watching Mickey Mouse. Why did he follow his brother around non-stop? Parenting and scolding, every second of every day? Why did he feel so entitled to every toy in the house, even those he most definitely disliked? Then someone had a brilliant, but heartbreaking suggestion. Maybe Mason had realized that his brother was surpassing him in some…
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I read a comment today from a follower who said I was glossing over the hard parts. I’ve been thinking about it all day. It’s a funny comment from where I’m sitting actually. Most people tell me I’m too negative. They find the realities of my world to be depressing. Even though they are indeed, the realities of so many. Here is what I will tell you. I’m not glossing over the hard. It’s here, right under the surface. Always ready to creep in. And at any moment, if I…
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