It was hard for you this morning. I have no idea why. You woke crying too early, the moon still visible. Groans and nudges before one of us got up and shuffled to your room. These are the moments we wait on your response. There are mornings, early mornings, when your smile is contagious, your eyes bright and your antics ridiculous. Those are the mornings I can smile back, fix myself a cup of coffee and take on the day like the superhero you’ve made me out to be. And…
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It’s time for New Years Resolutions. I made mine mid year somehow and didn’t even know it. For years I tried to help my son find his voice and in the process I found mine. Once my son was diagnosed I lost mine I think. I just wanted to do everything right for him. I found my voice this year. It’s a loud one and one spoken with love. I stood up for myself, my son and for both of our mental health. I fought for him to have a…
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I took the tree down the minute Christmas was over this year. Usually, I have the tree up from November through to the end of January but this year; I’m so damn relieved it’s over. This entire year I have spent worrying about next year. About sending my non-verbal son to school. I have taken him to pre-kindy at an education support school for the last 3 terms, a 2 hour session once a week which I get to stay with him, to help prepare him for Kindy next year.…
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I’ve been reading a lot lately about so called bad moms. Apparently they walk amongst us dressed in leggings and oversized sweatshirts, hair up in a messy pony, exhausted, cooking dinner with way too many helpers, and most likely overly caffeinated. They blend in. Yes, I’m as shocked as you are. I had no idea. Learning this got me thinking about my so called mothering skills. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the mother I imagined I’d be before having kids. But in my defense, I didn’t…
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I found myself eating some humble pie last night, or maybe grateful pie. That sounds stupid. Things were put into perspective. I was catching up on my Cooper’s Voice reading–something I only do on hard days–and yesterday was a HARD day. Christmas was a disaster! Maddox had stayed up all night, and by the time everyone was awake to open presents, he was just about ready to fall asleep. We tried anyway. Twenty minutes in and we ended up with a 2-3 hour meltdown, then a 5 hour sleep; the…
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I have three boys. They are 9, 6 and 1. The older one giggles a lot. He loves the Price is Right and Steve Harvey from Family Feud. Especially Plinko and when the answer is any price in the thirties. He doesn’t say much but he sure can get his point across. So, if you have a question for him, don’t be afraid to ask. Give him a minute to respond though. I promise you he’s listening. He just needs to process. The middle one is the one with the…
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Raising a non-verbal child taught me to communicate with more than mere words and to listen with more than mere ears. I don’t need words to catch the joy dancing behind Mason’s eyes when he sees me enter a room. I don’t need his voice to tell me he loves me when I have the strength of his embrace that follows after he wraps his arms around my neck. No amount of speech can match the magnitude that comes with his bedtime kisses, or late night cuddles. Every flick of…
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Our family has been spending a lot our time lately with families who have kiddos like our Cooper. Some came into our lives through Cooper’s therapy center. Some came through mom support groups on Facebook. Some from the many trips to Children’s Hospital over the years. Family friendships have developed and it’s been life changing for us. Many of the kids have autism, although no two fall in the same place on the spectrum. That’s the cool part. They are all uniquely different. Others have different disabilities. Some physical, some…
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Dear Son, This year for Christmas I know you won’t ask me for anything or understand why a burly man in a red suit is so important. You won’t understand why there are so many parties and great food, or why this little baby that sits in a manger is being spoken about. This evening, I won’t be able to explain to you that Santa will be here at night and that we should leave cookies out for him, because why would we leave cookies out for no good reason…
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This is Casadee’s 18th Christmas. I still make her a calendar every year so she can count down the days and quite honestly to reduce the number of times she asks me “Christmas tomorrow?” This year her number gift request is a desktop computer. She is typical in that regard, like most teens the price of the present goes up. This year I can use her newly awarded SSI money to purchase it. She doesn’t read or write but she has been using computers at school for as long as…
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