Yesterday my husband asked me, “have you really accepted the fact that Hank has Autism?” It’s one of those conversations we always find a way to circle back to. Between talking about services, school, behavioral interventions, potty training, aggressions, speech, etc, etc, we always come back to this. “Acceptance” There’s a pause. A comma perhaps,Most likely a big fat question mark? Usually when we ask it to each other, we are really in a sense asking it to ourselves. We are seeking reassurance and validation for our feelings. What we are…
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Yesterday my father in law reached out over text message to see how we were doing. It has been an unusually busy and chaotic time for our family and he was just checking in. I told him we were doing Ok, hanging in there at least. He responded with empathy stating he remembers how hard it is parenting three small children and having zero energy left at the end of the day to do anything for yourself. He went on to say “You sort of put your life on hold,…
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Every time I see a mama happy and hopeful because their kid was invited to a birthday party it floods me with memories. And I want to tell them to enjoy them now because the invitations will stop. Kya was invited to every single birthday party in kindergarten. Birthday parties were incredibly stressful. And I went over the top on her parties. I thought if I made them amazing then maybe the kids would include her. I spent $1500 on her 5th Birthday and that was ridiculous. I realized I…
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I first met my son when he was 11. It was in a group session I had been invited to as a teacher because I would be getting the kids the following year. It was a chance to meet everyone and for the group to get to know me. I was immediately drawn to one student because he certainly had a lot to say! I quickly learned that he was in foster care and that he had a twin brother who was also in group with us. One talked, one…
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When you were about six, we had a party at our house. By this point, you talked pretty well. You were still behind other kids your age, but you could get your point across for the most part and ask for juice and tell us which DVD you wanted to watch. Jack-a-boo, language has always been hard for you. You didn’t say a word until you were well past three. Sentences were slow to come. Even now, as a teenager, you hesitate for a few beats when someone asks you…
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My daughter Isla is 11 years old and has a unique subset of autism that has broken me and put me back together in ways I never could have dreamed. You always assume you will have so much to teach your children and then God giggles a little bit and sends you your greatest teacher in the form of a 7lb 14oz bundle of curls who will eventually be diagnosed with something that is forever. Interestingly enough I have recently been reflecting on the lessons that motherhood has taught me…
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Last week, I asked for help in rewarding my grandson. Bricen has autism, and works hard at controlling his emotions, and making good decisions. He receives therapy which promotes positive programs. A part of Bricen’s therapy is earning tokens. Over a three week period, Bricen earned 75 tokens, and his one and only wish was to have a soda with a policeman at McDonalds. Officer Chris Vines, from the Sumner County Sheriff Office, responded saying he’d like to meet Bricen. He shared Bricen’s story with fellow officers at the Sheriff…
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We all know mothers can be portrayed as being a bit dramatic. I am not saying I agree with that, but I do think moms, particularly new moms, put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves to raise perfect children. Something that is completely unattainable, especially when you are a new mom trying to figure out why your child is so different than all your friends’ kids. This was me 4 years ago, and I, of course, tried to come up with a way to “solve” these differences. What is…
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Last week I read an article about a police officer and his fiancé who left their 8-year old son with autism to freeze to death overnight in a garage. I felt the familiar bubble of rage and sickness in my throat. Alone in my office, I shook my head. I flashed back to my son at eight years old, when he asked everyone the color of their shampoo. He ate cinnamon toast for breakfast every morning except Wednesday. Every Wednesday, he had waffles. At nine, my son went to summer…
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Hi, my name is Kate and I am 36 and I’m having a serious case of lost identity. Or maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Or a little post-partum depression. Or maybe I’m just tired, overweight and mentally drained. Who knows which one. I have three boys, a husband, a home, and a job I love. I am beyond blessed. I have devoted my life to the humans in my life. And again, most days, I am happy to do it. But some days, some weeks, I don’t feel that way.…
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