I got the following email this morning. To all the parents who wonder if they are making a difference by advocating for their children…here ya go. Hello Dear Kate, I have been watching your videos for years now. Ever since I started this Facebook. I am an old lady. Almost 70 years old. My children are grown. My grandchildren are grown. I live in a small town in the middle of America that no one has ever heard of. I have never met an autistic person. Honestly, I didn’t even…
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“Do you have any siblings?” It’s a classic first date question, and rightfully so — it’s simple and seemingly painless to answer. It leads to an easy conversation. I can’t blame anyone for asking. “Yep, I have a younger brother, Alex,” I’ll reply. The follow-up question is almost always the same. “How old is he?” “He’s 23. We’re almost exactly 18 months apart. He has autism,” I always add quickly. As soon as I say it I wait for the reaction. A lot of the time people respond by listing…
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My son Jayden has settled into school and he is doing amazing. I am still pinching myself every day when I drop him off. We are now starting to incorporate the other therapies Jayden needs back into his new schedule. It is official. I have received my mountain of paperwork. All I have to say is, WOW! Jayden is eight and some of the questionnaires are still completely brutal to complete. I really thought at this point the questions would be less cumbersome or I would be used to the…
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Last night was a big night for us kid. One that I honestly thought may never happen. A haircut. A real hair cut. See, mama has been cutting your hair for 8 long years. And yes, I apologize for all of the terrible cuts I gave you. But I had to teach myself. And I’ll describe it as trying to shave a grizzly bear at times. You are strong kid. You didn’t make it easy. We both cried over the years. I’ve taken a kick to the stomach and a…
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The moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew she would alter my life in ways I had no ability to perceive just yet. It would have been impossible to know that her love would beckon me to pour myself into her all day, every day for years at the risk of losing my husband. I was already in love with her, and we had just met. My husband, Greg, was the whole package. From the beginning, I knew he was out of my league, but that didn’t scare…
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For the mama who has just heard the very words that split her heart in half. He has autism. For the woman is lost amid a tidal wave of appointments, and meetings, and therapy sessions—who thinks longingly back to the days of high heels, and boardrooms, and a paycheck. I get it. The mama who longs for a crystal ball to know the unknowable. Will he learn to talk, or read, or drive, or work? Will he graduate, or have a career, or get married? Who will take care of…
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This is baby Harbor. The third baby. The third boy. The third little thief of sleep and sanity. He will be 16 months in just a few days. He is walking, talking, eating with a fork, playing hockey and incredibly curious. Of all three of my boys, he is the busiest. He wants to know how things work. Like the toilet. And Kleenex boxes. And mud puddles. He is also a terrible sleeper. And sick a lot. And he has the best hair. Like ever. Think Garth from Wayne’s World.…
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Last night my seven year old had a hockey play date at the neighbor’s house. He hit pucks and went wild and skated while the snow fell down. I know because I saw a Snapchat that his father sent me. I was home with Cooper and the baby playing puzzles and cars and arguing about snacks and the volume of an iPad. As 9 pm approached, I started the bedtime process with two of my boys. Cooper immediately pointed to the front door and said, ‘SSSSAAAAWWWWEEEERRR.’ I told him little…
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I talk a lot about grace on this page. A word that honestly didn’t mean all that much to me before this journey. But now, well, grace is everything. Because as parents, we can be way too hard on ourselves. When I speak to parents of newly diagnosed kids, and parents of kids diagnosed long before autism was a common word, they all tell me similar stories. Every single parent. They tell me about the things they didn’t know. They didn’t know that their child was in pain. Or they…
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I’ve always hated phrases like, “the new normal,” or “it is what it is.” In my eyes these expressions are just the lazy person’s way of not trying hard enough to make a difficult situation better. We’ll just call it, “the new normal” and move on. I can’t make it better so, “it is what it is.” I’m getting older but it’s cool because, “50 is the new 40.” You get the idea. When my youngest of four children was diagnosed with autism eight years ago, it felt like anything…
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