Something happened today during our homeschooling session. It’s been five weeks since he last went to school. We have talked about the whole COVID 19 lockdown situation a couple of times since all this started. Today, his teacher sent a new social story and asked me to read it to him. The picture of the school building in the story looked a lot like the school he goes to. As I was reading it with him, I saw that he had started crying. There was no sound, just tears trickling…
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I stand in the darkAt the side of your bedBeckoning your anxiety away Reassuring you I’m here-You’re safeYou’re lovedYou’re not alone Midnight hours tick away The morning will soon greet us I askAre you feeling sickHurtAre you afraid My questions are met with your silenceLeft suspended in the air You fall asleepBut not for longSleep never visits long I’m at the front line Fighting your silent warA war-Locked somewhere deep inside of you Sometimes its not so silent Its loud screamsHiding in small, dark spacesHysteriaHead bangingDangerous Self harmingEloping Isolation Sometimes there is no warIt’s Thomas the…
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A few months ago, Charlie, my 4-year-old daughter, yelled from across the room, “Mommy, look!” Her older brother, who doesn’t tend to pay her much attention, was hugging her. She said, “Does this mean he loves me now?” My heart broke. Confession: I am a bit of a hypocrite. I advocate for autism awareness and everyone talking to their children about autism and I really hadn’t done it myself with my neurotypical child. We talk about differences and kindness and why everyone we meet is special, but we hadn’t had…
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My Sweet Boy, Last night we went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was supposed to be me, you, your two brothers and Dad. A family walk. But, well, it didn’t go as planned. But what does these days I guess. If autism and a global pandemic has taught us one thing it’s…’hold on.’ I wouldn’t say it’s been all bad though. I would even dare to say that our family has gotten stronger through all of this. Spending 24 hours a day together for eternity will do that.…
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The world has shut down. We’re under stay-at-home orders. Because of a new virus that can be fatal, we’re forced to stay home until it’s contained. We have to stand six feet away from other people if we go anywhere. We have to homeschool our children because schools are closed until further notice. Doctor appointments and therapy are held over telemedicine video calls. This all seems a little too familiar. I remember how hard it was being stuck inside for extended periods of time. I recall my kids having therapy…
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Welcome to our world. I have said that a lot lately. While the world has stopped in its tracks not much has changed in our world. This is our life. Isolation. I was thinking about it yesterday and, the special needs community is far more prepared for this. We have been preparing for this for years. We are isolated all the time. For years, the only time we left our home was for work school or therapy. We worked hard on leaving our home. There was a time when Kya…
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Hey buddy, I am sorry you heard Daddy and I argue tonight. I know it’s scary. But sometimes, people disagree. No, no one is getting a divorce. I promise. I have known your father since I was nineteen years old. Yes, that’s right, back in 1994. We went to the same college, but we actually met in a restaurant, where we both worked. It was the end of August, right before classes started. No, I don’t remember what I had for lunch that afternoon. No, I can’t remember what day…
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It was six years ago this summer that Asperger’s was first mentioned in regards to me; I was 20 years old. At first I thought people only knew if I told them; I’ve since found out that people often just figure it out and some have even known longer than I have. Since finding this out in 2012, I’ve been working through some negative emotions including embarrassment and anger and I think these have been exacerbated by a feeling that I have to keep this diagnosis a secret. Well, I…
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I was headed to get my son Jd his favorite food at the food stop next door when I heard the older boy’s voice. It caught me off guard. I saw his dad next to him, paying for the delicious hotdog on a stick. This was our second time attempting to eat outside of our box as a family, since our son’s ear tubes were placed. Before his surgery this outing wasn’t even thinkable let alone doable. I vowed to myself that if Jd was actually able to hear that…
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Our lives are so narrow in experience. We understand most clearly the circumstances we are born into and the experiences we acquire over our lifetime. Yet there are so many variables that can shape our lives. Immigrant status, skin color, religion, socio-economic status, ethnicity, gender orientation, disability, addiction, abuse—we are shaped by these factors. Prior to being a mom, I identified as a middle class American Jewish woman. I experienced some religious discrimination in school which left me with a desire to explore diversity. I wanted to make room in my…
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