When you have a child diagnosed with autism, it’s not about you as the parent. At least that’s what we are told. Your sole focus becomes helping your child. Getting them the help they need. Services. Supports. Therapies. Education. And so on. That’s the role of a parent. And that’s how it should be. But one part that is overlooked, I think, is the evolution of the parent. Their journey. And the patience that should be given to them when everything changes suddenly. It’s not easy ya know. Stepping off…
Read More
When you don’t have a child with a disability, you don’t think too much about it. Until your life is touched by it, you think about it differently; it’s personal. Of course, everyone knows there are individuals with disabilities, but it’s not directly affecting your life. There is not much you can do anyway. That is where you are wrong. We need to stand and advocate for everyone, especially those who are vulnerable. We have come a long way in the way we treat and think about those with disabilities.…
Read More
I could tell you a hundred things this kid has taught me in his thirteen years. More than most adults I know honestly. I had no idea when I was pregnant with my first born that he would end up being the teacher that I needed. Or that a child would turn me into the person I was meant to be. Funny to think about how I actually fought it at first. See, that’s the fear of the unknown. It’s a natural human reaction I suppose. I was scared. It’s…
Read More
There comes a day where you realize that admitting autism is hard isn’t a choice you have to make, but rather it’s a moment in time where the struggle of special needs parenting goes from secret to unable to mask it any longer. This switch happens when people start to recognize meltdowns that are no longer age appropriate, and it feels like every eye is on you. It happens when aggression kicks in to your daily life, and you realize there isn’t a safe space to go anymore because your…
Read More
At the park last night, one of these boys played with boys his own age. He went up the slide and scaled the jungle gym like an acrobat. One of these boys chased after the older boys. They tickled him and he loved the attention. He went down the slide a hundred times and said…’mommy watch this!’ The other boy felt the mulch with his fingers, went down the slide twice because his mom asked him too, and spent the majority of his time tapping the metal garbage can and…
Read More
Have you ever purchased a very challenging jigsaw puzzle just for the sheer joy and feeling of accomplishment you’ll get once you’ve successfully assembled it? The larger the quantity of pieces the better right? As I stare at those 5,000 pieces dumped onto my counter top and begin sorting and flipping them over, it becomes overwhelming that each individual piece doesn’t tell me anything about the completed picture. Where do I start? Is the best method for success gathering the corner & edge pieces to form an outline or should…
Read More
Sometimes, I find myself thinking about her. The one who probably rises at 5 am to do something wild like go for a run or attend hot yoga. Her time management skills are impeccable. A caesar salad is a treat for her, and she’s diligent about drinking water every day. She excels at work and is fully present at home. She thrives in the routine of each day. She schedules appointments for herself and keeps them. She knows which skincare products to use and what colors to wear. She is…
Read More
The thing with growing tiny humans is they are always changing. Learning. Absorbing. Getting bigger. My son Cooper is 13 years old. He wants to ride an Amtrak train more than anything. He wants to have a party with his three friends, Dexter, Peyton, and Landon. He loves going to school. He also is autistic and technically nonspeaking on paper. But if you know him you know he has loads of words and sounds and signs and he can spell and read and even use movie scenes to tell us…
Read More
For me, as a mom, this parenting autism life, especially alongside my neurotypical children, has often like a contradiction. A double-edged sword or sorts. A constant contradiction of joy and grief, both coexisting and intertwined. Neither wrong. A few days ago, I walked into a gym full of fifth graders and their parents and teachers. A living wax museum it was called. And my son, Sawyer. He was Barack Obama. Or Barry as we learned he liked to be called. He was lined up amongst his peers. He was ready…
Read More
We practice. We practice everything. I remember in the beginning l, after the diagnosis of autism was said out loud, feeling overwhelmed about all of the things my son needed to learn. Things that came seemingly easy for most children. Walking safely, using silverware, speaking, playing, self care, I could go on and on. When I thought about all of it I almost couldn’t breathe at times. I didn’t know how to do it all. So, I did what any logical person would do…I made a list. I ranked them.…
Read More