I have often called myself a member of the “sandwich generation.” But after a little research, I discovered that I am actually a member of the “club sandwich generation.” The term refers to the midlife generation being wedged between the needs of different family members: parents, children, and grandchildren. My mother is living, and I am a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. I’ll go a step further and add extra meat and extra mayo, lots of extra mayo! I am a forever caregiver for my 39-year-old son with autism.…
Read More
Yesterday, I drove my middle son Sawyer to school. He typically rides the bus but he wanted to donate a handful of toys to the toy drive his school was holding so I drove him. ‘The toys go to Children’s Hospital mom.’ He was adamant about bringing presents. As we drove he asked me a zillion questions. As a mom, I’ve learned that some of the best conversations happen in the car. After tell me that he has a project due this week and about something he saw on YouTube,…
Read More
When I share our autism story with professionals…teachers, therapists, doctors, nurses, I always say this sentence: Something you have said to a parent about their child, positive or negative, runs through their head on repeat. It’s true. Many have hardened me. Some have lightened the load. We have been told so many things. Your son will never talk, make a friend, or ride a bike. If your son doesn’t have any words by age four than game over. Your son is absolutely amazing! And then this one. One of my…
Read More
Parents of kids with disabilities… What is the most difficult, yet important conversation you’ve had around your child’s needs? Maybe it was around medications. Or the decision to have more children. Or to let go of education and focus on daily living skills. For my husband and I, it was around forever. It was grappling with the thought that our son will live on this earth without us. It took us years to be able to sit down and rationally speak about it. In the beginning, I’d bring it up.…
Read More
I don’t talk about our challenges associated with autism all that much any more. Some followers assume that life is easier now. Or our son is less autistic. Neither of those things are true. Cooper is still very much significantly affected. But he is also wonderfully supported. We, his family, our friends, his team, we know how to support him. And because of that…he is thriving. We all settled in as I like to say. I’m not afraid to share either. It’s not that. I have my reasons. Ones that…
Read More
Seeing the Best in Others Seeing the best in others. Seeing the greatness in others. Letting them know. Our non-profit Dexter’s Dream has had a Sensory Santa event for the last three years.. Occasionally after Santa and the child were done taking pictures he would ask the Mom or Dad to sit down by him. And what transpired after that was beautiful and brought tears to anyone in the room who witnessed it, which was primarily me and other family members. Santa would ask questions so kindly about the child…
Read More
A birthday party invitation seems like such a normal right of passage as a kid. I remember getting many growing up.I also remember handing out birthday invitations to all of my friends. Birthday invitations were always a big part of my childhood. I grew up and had three children of my own. I had my oldest daughter when I was 25 years old, and I began throwing parties for her at age one. As she grew up, she was invited to many parties over the years. My son was born…
Read More
When your child is diagnosed with autism, at whatever age, you will inevitably seek out as much information as you can about the disorder. Autism Spectrum Disorder. You will read blogs, buy books, watch television shows, join groups, and talk to experts, friends, and family. You want to know everything you can. I will tell you in the beginning, what I saw in books didn’t match my son. What I saw online didn’t either. And the challenges that were supposedly coming our way….everyone was so quick to share those. What…
Read More
My family attended boo at the zoo with two other families. Couples we’ve known since college, the girls and I were roommates, their husbands and mine were fraternity brothers. Somehow the stars aligned and we were able to get all of our families together. It was the perfect day. I can’t believe where life has lead all of us these past seventeen-ish years. College, engagements, first jobs, marriages, babies, these families we’ve all built. It was incredible to see all of us together in one place today. We started the…
Read More
You might have heard that people with autism often have a special connection with water. For us, and for our autistic son, Jesse, this couldn’t be more true. From the very beginning, he’s always been drawn to it. As a newborn, baby Jesse was fussy, crying more often than not. But the moment I placed him in the bath, everything changed. His little legs would kick, his eyes would light up, and for those precious moments, he’d laugh and smile. Water soothed him in a way nothing else could, as…
Read More