My Son, Thank You for Teaching Me

My son, On this eve of April, Autism Awareness and Acceptance month, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. I want to thank you for teaching me, our family, and even the world about autism. I want to thank you for being patient with me as I settled into this unique life. I want to thank you for being brave, determined and for being yourself. You are more yourself than any other person I have ever met. I want to thank you for trying. For letting…

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Be Brave Enough to Travel the Unknown Path

I could tell you a hundred things this kid has taught me in his eleven years. More than most adults I know honestly. I had no idea when I was pregnant with my first born that he would end up being the teacher that I needed. Or that a child would turn me into the person I was meant to be. Funny to think about how I actually fought it at first. See, that’s the fear of the unknown. It’s a natural human reaction I suppose. I was scared. It’s…

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A few Simple Ways to Support Autistic Individuals and Their Families

April is Autism Awareness/Acceptance month. Here are a few simple ways to support autistic individuals and their families: 6. Reach out – Whether it to be a friend or family member or neighbor who lives down the street. Reach out. Say hi. Get to know them. And even if right now you say you don’t know anyone who has a child on the spectrum, you do. Family member, friend, neighbor, co-worker, school peer. We are out here. Get to know us. Ask questions. 5. Invite – I don’t know why…

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Seeing Autism Through Your Eyes

I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 11 year old kids. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my four kids. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…

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The Gift of Sight

When I used to think about autism, back when it was a word used to describe someone else’s child, and eventually when our son was first diagnosed, I used to think about the differences. Autism meant he would be different. And that made me so scared for him. Because I knew the world could be unkind. I would hyper focus at 3 am or while in the shower on all the ‘nevers.’ The differences. The challenges. The worries that would drop me to my knees. He may never talk. He…

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We are Celebrating Our Kids

A few days ago, someone said to a friend of mine, who has an autistic son so similar to Cooper that you’d think they were brothers, that her posts about her son were negative. She was upset of course. She didn’t feel like she was being negative. She thought she was just sharing their life. And him. And in fact, she celebrates her son much like I do Coops. I told her my hunch. That people looking in ‘think’ we are being negative when we share because our kids do…

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Being Kind is the Most Important Thing

See that boy on the left? The one in blue… He is 9 years old. He is in 3rd grade. At least once a week he tells me he can’t wait to be a grown up so he can ride dirt bikes and do whatever he wants. But he also reminds me he is never moving out. He plans to live in the backyard. We had his school conference a few weeks ago. His teacher told us all about his test scores for math. We talked all about developing skills…

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Setting a Timer for Summer

I am not autistic, my son is. And I spend much of time trying to understand him so I can be a better advocate. How he thinks. How he processes. Why he likes certain things. Or doesn’t like others. And how I can help him understand this world that wasn’t really made for him. His brain often feels a bit confusing to me. Mysterious even. Intriguing at the same time. Autism. Blurring the edges a bit. Touching all of his parts. Yesterday, as we were driving together, Cooper saw a…

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How to be a Good Friend to a Person who has a Child with Special Needs

I get asked a lot how to be a good friend to a person who has a child with special needs. Here are my 10 suggestions. 10. Let me be. In the beginning, I needed someone to let me be sad. Or worried. Or angry. Whatever emotion I was at the time. Just let me be for a while as I step into our new world. So often people try to rush us through or gloss over our hard times. Just sit with me and don’t try and fix it…

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This Season of Life

I have a question about this ‘season of life’ and it’s…. What in the actual heck?! We are in the thick of it over here. And while we are no stranger to it, nothing seems to ever prepare you for kids who fight sleep, the stomach flu, pee sheets, dishes, whining, and the laundry. There is so much laundry. Six people. It’s insanity actually. It’s a season they say. Which I love by the way. I love looking at it that way. Some seasons are easy breezy 75 degree sunny…

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