Posts by Kate Swenson

Many years ago, when I was new to the world of parenting a child with a disability, and even newer to sharing our story with the world, a young woman sent me an email about her life. She shared with me that she needed help to live and to bathe and to eat. She said she had physical disabilities and was unable to care for herself independently. She told me she felt like a burden to her family. She felt saddened that she made their life harder. She spoke of…

It may not get easier, and some things may not get better, but you have the power to create a world that works for your family. I wish someone would have told me that when my son was first diagnosed with autism. Because, initially, and in the challenging years that followed, I will admit that we felt stuck in a lot of ways. We couldn’t do this or that. Like go to restaurants or church or fly on an airplane, go for walks, visit the mall. We said no to…

Last night something monumental happened in our little world. Our middle son Sawyer had a gaggle of friends over playing and as they ran from room to room, crashing and bashing and giggling about farts and butts, our oldest son Cooper ran behind. He was the oldest of the whole group on paper. The big brother and yet not. He will be 14 in a few months. But he has no interest in Fortnite or hockey or girls. He doesn’t acknowledge the coolest shoes or ask sliding mitts. Instead he…

When my son was two years old his daycare provider told me that he would never speak, make a friend, or ride a bike. She later went on to say he would never hit a baseball. She told me at my car after I had buckled my son into his car seat and closed the door. She had followed me out. She was determined to tell me her predictions. In the eleven years that have since passed I have replayed that conversation a million times in my head. It broke…

I just encountered a gentlemen with a disability in the airport. I would say he was in his fifties. I heard him coming. He was saying the most cheerful ‘hi’ to every person he passed. I noticed he was mostly being ignored. Which I guess isn’t all that uncommon. When a stranger says hi it’s probably common to ignore. When he said hi to me I gave him the most cheerful hi I could give. He stopped walking and asked if I was flying somewhere today. I smiled and said…

When my son was diagnosed with autism eleven years ago, I knew nothing of the diagnosis. Not a thing. I researched of course. I found Rain Man. And dark grainy videos on YouTube of individuals on the spectrum struggling. I wondered where my son would land. The savant side? The hard to watch side from those videos? Or somewhere in between? As time went on Hollywood brought us Love on the Spectrum and The Good Doctor. Eventually other shows too. Our autism looked nothing like those shows. I worried and…

‘The best feeling is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long.’ The beginning was so hard. Before the diagnosis. The unknown. The hating myself for suspecting something was wrong. The watching all of his peers and even younger kids pass him by. The fighting with my husband because I saw something he refused to see. The hoping it was anything but autism. Late bloomer. Boys will be boys. Then the diagnosis. The praying it was wrong. Praying it wasn’t severe. Telling myself I…

I am watching my three year old daughter dance right now. She is tapping. And twirling. Sitting when needed. And following directions. This morning she asked to brush her teeth. And clip her nails too. She quacked like a duck. Last night she pointed to a star and said ‘mama, look at the wishing star.’ She puts her own shoes on. She dresses herself when she adamantly wants to wear something. She walked with me and her brother Cooper to the bus the other day and said ‘bye Pooper on…

To the mama whose baby isn’t starting school today. To the parent who is wondering if they should take the picture. And wondering if they should celebrate just another day. To the dad whose sending some kids back to school but not the others. To the parent feeling a twinge of sadness today. Or a lot. I understand. Your child doesn’t go to a typical school. They go to therapy. There are no grade levels. Just continuous time. Or maybe they do but they aren’t really in a grade. On…

Something beautiful happened today with my oldest son, Cooper. He is 13 years old and has a disability. He was three years old when they told me he had autism. Severe nonverbal autism they said. What followed was a list of all the things he would supposedly never do. Brick by brick the predictions were made. Each one crushed me. I’ll tell you at age 13 he amazes me every single day. I won’t say it’s easy. For him. For us. But it’s good. Amazing even. Today I was upset.…