Believing in Progress: A Brother’s Love

Tonight my older son Cooper and I went to his 10-year-old brother’s baseball game. We were armed with a blanket, a chair, an iPad, hotspot, snacks, a drink, and talk of a visit to the fire station this Saturday. And belief in a boy with autism. Belief in progress and hard work. See he is 12 years old. He doesn’t care much for sports. But he sure loves his brother. He stayed for 1 hour and 45 minutes. I saw almost every inning. I saw my son catch. I saw…

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My Son Saves Me Everyday

I want to tell you about a boy. He is ten years old and his name is Sawyer. In my book I say he saved me. The story goes onto share how my heart stopped beating during active labor with him. I came back for him. So he would be okay. I knew he needed me to live for him. But it’s more than that. He’s saved me countless times since then. I spent the last 72 hours with hundreds of moms. Moms like me. And Sawyer stood by my…

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‘Brother Doesn’t Talk Mama……’

‘Brother doesn’t talk mama……’ That’s what he said to me a few months after he turned three. He was downstairs with his older brother. Eight years between them. The conversation one sided when I peeked in. The older brother dancing to the songs on his iPad. The younger brother playing dinosaurs. The moved around the room together. Clumsily. Interacting at times. But more often not. ‘Why doesn’t he talk mama?’ I did my best to explain autism to the tiny human who I know without a doubt will grow up…

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Breaking the Stereotypes: Celebrating the Beauty of a Differently Lived Life

I want to tell you about a boy. His name is Cooper. He is 12 years old. And he was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism at age 3. When I heard those three words for the first time, severe-nonverbal-autism, associated with my son, it felt like everything shifted. Some things slightly. Some drastically. Everything that once was…was suddenly no more. I spent a lot of time googling, reading, researching, until I realized my best teacher was my own son. I say that because there is no text book on autism.…

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‘What Kind of Autism Does He Have?’

‘What kind of autism does he have?’ I get that question a lot lately. It typically comes from someone new to my life. A fellow sports parent. A stranger at a party. A grandparent at the park. See when I tell people I have four kids, ages 1-12, people ask questions. What schools do they go too? What sports do they play? Do you know so and so? My son is 12 too! I tell them about each of my kids, with pride and love and humor. I share stories…

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They Live In Separate Worlds

I have four kids. My older two are 12 and 10. Brothers. The oldest is 12. He loves trains and DVD cases and bright colored paper. He is part fish and would live in the water if I let him. He does not like sports. Not one bit. But he adores sitting in the sun with a queen sized comforter and a pillow. My 10 year old lives for a party. He plays hockey and baseball and anything competitive. He adores babies and puppies and asking me for Roblox. Talks…

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My Autistic Boy Said ‘Cars’ Just for Me

Something happened yesterday. Something huge. But I missed it because life was happening. I had a baby crying and on my hip. The stove timer was yelling at me reminding me that the asparagus was done. We needed to get to Miracle League Sports. My middle son had baseball practice. And that’s when it happened. During all of that. My son Cooper said the word car. Which I guess doesn’t sound all that great. Everyone can say car right? Well, my boy is unique. He is 12 years old. He…

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A Bad Day: ‘We Need You to Come Get Him’

One minute and 3 seconds. That’s how long the voicemail was from the school today. About my son. Cooper. He is 12 years old. He has severe nonverbal autism. It wasn’t the first. It won’t be the last. It was kind. And came from a place of love and concern. We live in the special education world. I call it a secret world. And it truly is. I’m not sure anyone would deny it. Because I am raising three other small humans and have never experienced anything with them like…

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Living and Learning in the Messiest Way

I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting lately. And the pressure to do it one way or another. Maybe it’s the social media influencing me. Or maybe it’s having four entirely different kids growing up at rapid speed in a world that doesn’t always make sense. I suppose it started with getting an epidural or not. Then to breastfeed or formula feed. Cry it out. Baby led weaning. Gentle vs free range parenting. Looking back those decisions seem so minor. My big kids are getting older now. 12 and 10.…

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Autism: The Beautiful World of Possibilities

I stumbled across an old blog post of mine the other day titled, ‘What if my son never speaks to me?’ The words that followed were filled with fear and longing. My son was 5. And my hope had ran out. Why? Well, someone, a professional, had told me that if my son, a little boy with severe, nonverbal autism, didn’t speak by age four, then game over. I was crushed. Devastated. Heartbroken. As I read my fears displayed on my computer screen, I had this urge to hug the…

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