Finding Balance: Navigating the 4th of July with Autism

Tomorrow is the 4th of July. A fun, typically outdoor, social, loud, hot holiday. It’s also a holiday that can be very challenging for families like mine. And put a lot of stress on us. See, our older son struggles with a lot of the parts that make up the fourth. He is scared of fireworks, although he loves to watch them on his iPad. The second he hears one, no matter how far away, he takes off running and hides in our pantry. Parties overwhelm him. Most noises are…

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Does He Understand Everything I Say?

‘Does he understand everything I say? Because sometimes I can’t tell mom.’ My oldest son Cooper was diagnosed with autism at age three. It wasn’t a surprise by the time the psychologist said the words out loud. He had no words. He didn’t play with toys or acknowledge other kids. He flapped his arms and never stopped moving. He seemed to dislike sleep. Technology was his world. It was as if this world made absolutely zero sense to him. Severe, level three autism with a language impairment. That’s what the…

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A Moment of Connection: Finding Goodness in Unexpected Places

‘I should have waved back. I’m sorry.’ She said it apologetically. She was young. Her hair had blue stripes in it. Braces still on her teeth. At her age, no older than 16, I honestly didn’t expect her to wave back. My name is Kate and my son Cooper is autistic. If you met him in a drive thru, like this young lady did today, you’d probably assume he’s a typical boy. He has blonde hair. His t-shirt is from old navy. He has checkered slip on vans on his…

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Our Autistic Son’s Audition Experience

A while back, a local modeling agency reached out to our family. They were looking for autistic children to take part in an ad for a cell phone company. They invited Cooper to audition. First, I will tell you we were honored. I mean, seriously, how cool. Representation for one. And knowing how cute and cool our kid was for two. But, I was also very hesitant. Cooper is a autistic and nonverbal. He can get overwhelmed. He struggles to sit and wait. He can be a runner. Not everyone…

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Invisible Disabilities: How You Can Help Kids Like My Son

People ask me all the time how they can help. Kind people. Loving people. Strangers. Friends. Family. People on this page. I speak about that out of control feeling that happens when my son starts struggling. When his big feelings about waiting or sitting overwhelm him. Or when the noise is too much and the lights are too bright or he smells something in the air that you and I can’t make out. Maybe we are in line at the grocery store. Or at a park. Or in the paper…

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I’ll Hold Him Mom. I Have Him.

Back in the beginning, when the folder was slid across the table, and the words ‘severe nonverbal autism’ were said out loud… I remember wishing for a crystal ball. I wanted to know what the future held for my boy. His brother. Our family. I begged. I pleaded. I bargained. I prayed. For a glimpse. This is the one I wish I could have seen. Right here. A moment in time. Peace from the chaos. Two brothers. Two years apart. One verbal. One not. One on track. One proudly marching…

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He Loves When We Are Together

Last night my son Cooper was listening to a song on his iPad. The tune was familiar. In fact, I bet I’ve been hearing the same song on and off for eight plus years. I was doing something in the kitchen when he came in. My four year old was hungry. My toddler wanted bubbles. My kitchen was dirty. And here comes my son, dancing. He touched my arm for a second. Then a second longer. He forced my attention. He smiled. A smirk really. And he touched my ear.…

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She is His First Friend

She’s sits by him. I’m not sure if I can convey how much that means to me. This little girl. She waits for my son to arrive. She greets him. She grabs his hand. She leads him. She talks to him. And she sits by him. She is his first friend. I do not have autism. In fact I know very little about it. But I do know my son. He is 12 years old. He has blond coarse hair. His eyes are hazel. And he has a mole in…

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I Don’t Want These Little Days to Be Over

My son Sawyer is 10 years old. He is a younger brother and and an older brother. Sandwiched in between 3 siblings. A few days ago we took some time together. I got a babysitter for the other three and we went to the river. We got Takis and Prime and worms. A ten year olds dream. We fished for an hour. He caught a dozen and a turtle. We talked about baseball and hockey and a girl with blonde hair. We walked to dinner. We went for a boat…

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Tethered Together: A Mother and Son’s Unbreakable Bond

He is tethered to me. This son of mine. It connects us at all times, his lifeline. As he’s aged the rope has started to reach farther. I can move throughout the house without him following me from room to room. But he knows. He always knows where I am. I can go in the front yard and visit with neighbors. He waits for me, typically on the porch or just inside the glass storm door, watching. The tether seeming to expand and contract. I can go on my nightly…

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