Posts by Kate Swenson
Navigating Nonspeaking Autism at Age 12
When my son Cooper was diagnosed with autism at age three they told me he was nonverbal. I didn’t even know that was a thing. At age five they told me he might never speak. I didn’t know that was a possibility. At age six the silence was deafening. So we dove into alternate forms of communication. Sign language. Spelling. An AAC Device. And I learned in a painful beautiful way that communication was the goal. Not words. It took time though. Time for my mind and heart to accept.…
Read MoreAutism, Camping, and a Mother’s Pride
My son, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. When some people think of progress and success, they think of big, huge things. Like winning an award or crossing a finish line first. But as I stood behind you taking this photo, watching you sit calmly staring at the water, I see all of that and more. We just finished a family camping for three days. The weather was crummy and your baby sister went on a sleep strike. Everything we own is dirty. And you…
Read MoreMy Son, You Matter
A letter to my son Cooper: My son, you matter. I feel the need to say that today. Loudly. To all of these people who read about you. Who love you and want to learn about you. Not to remind myself. Or you. Because I know you are amazing. I know that you work harder than anyone I know to do the things that most people take for granted. In the beginning, when you were diagnosed with autism, I was told all the things you would never do. The list…
Read MoreMy Nonspeaking Autistic Boy Finds Connection and Joy
This photo. I know it looks so ordinary. Two kids. Tweens actually. A silly younger brother photobombing. It’s anything but ordinary. It’s extraordinary really. My son is 12 years old. He was diagnosed with nonspeaking autism at age 3. And I’ve wondered from the very beginning if he’d ever have a friend. Her name is Peyton. They met at school. Her diagnosis doesn’t matter to him. Or us. She does all the talking. She holds his hand a lot. He kisses her on the forehead. She tells him what to…
Read MoreAn Inspiring Encounter: A Letter to the Mother of an Adult Son with Autism
To the mother with her adult son at Thomas the Train: You had the oldest child here. I’m guessing he was 25. Your son was tall. He was a man. He even towered over you. I saw him immediately when you arrived. He was practically levitating he was so excited. It was like he had an aura around him. His joy. It radiated. He ran in. Loud. Arms a moving. He ran right up to Thomas and started chatting to himself. Fingers stimming. Head down. Twisting back and forth like…
Read MoreEmbracing Every Moment: A Letter to My Son With Autism
My sweet boy, I used to get so upset when people stared at you. Angry. Defensive even. You’d be flapping your hands. Or making happy noises. Communicating nonverbally. The only way you knew how. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be frustrated by the world. Telling me with sounds, not words, what was wrong. I’d look around. Make eye contact with a stranger or two. And look away. I’d think in…
Read MoreSounds of Happiness: Embracing Cooper’s Unique Joy
Cooper, Last night you were upstairs with your brother. It was long past your bedtime…which for Sawyer isn’t strange. That kid would stay up all night long. But not you typically. You have an internal alarm that tells you when it’s 9 pm and it’s game over. Up to bed you go with 7 blankets and a pile of treasures so high it takes you two trips up the stairs. But last night was different from some reason. I heard your sounds first. Laughing. Squeals. Little screams. Hums. Giggles. You…
Read MoreUnveiling the Silent Fears: Sending My Nonspeaking Child to School
I don’t think we talk about our fears enough. I know when I do, as a mom to a nonspeaking boy, my fears are often brushed aside. Or downplayed. And I think it’s because fear makes people uncomfortable. Or they want to fix it. But there isn’t always a solution. Acknowledging our fears forces us to go to that uncomfortable space. But the older I get, I am learning to lean in. And share. So here goes… This morning my 12-year-old nonspeaking boy with a big diagnosis got on a…
Read MoreFinding the Light: Hope and Understanding for Families with Autistic Children
The comment read, ‘for some families, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.’ I thought about it all night. And when my toddler woke up at midnight for a hug, and then again while I drank my coffee and watched the news. I thought back to our hardest days when there was no apparent light at the end of the tunnel. Our autistic son didn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time and we started every day at 3 am. We lived in this place of…
Read MoreHis Bravery Looks Different
Let me tell you about a boy. A boy who at twelve years old shows more bravery than most adults I know. But his bravery looks different so most overlook it. He has very few words. Not much for conversation. But his eyes…they tell a story. If you listen to him. Patiently. If you don’t rush him. And wait. He will tell you. If you don’t talk over him. Or speak for him. He will tell you how he hears things louder than you. And smells the faintest smells. And…
Read More