Posts by Kate Swenson
Santa in Leather: A Heartwarming Elevator Encounter
Let me set the scene for you… My husband and I and two of our boys plus baby get on the elevator. We are loud and busy. Our youngest is trying to push all the buttons. I am using my hip to block him. Cooper, our 12-year-old is autistic and adores elevators. So he is happy flapping and dancing and making lots of noises. Just as the door is about to close to bring us to the second floor of the hotel my husband yells out…‘I’ll hold the door for…
Read MoreHow Am I Supposed to Not Miss Him?
I brought my son Sawyer to skate night last night. A school event at a local roller skating rink. There was pizza and music and arcade games. Kindergarten through fifth grade. Families. Siblings. So many kids. I laced up his roller blades and watched him be a little boy. Skating way too fast. Being silly. Telling stories. Playfully pushing friends. Dancing. Doing the limbo. He has a social life. Friends. He’s growing up. As I sat there watching, holding my baby tight, I was suddenly overwhelmed by all the feelings…
Read MoreI Belong to Him: Motherhood and Autism
This boy and I are connected. Mother and son. I am his person. He holds me now mostly out in public. A hand in mine or on my shoulder, me leading him. Always touching me. And if he does pull his hand away for a second, I see a bit of panic in his eyes before he reaches out again. At times, I feel I am his eyes and ears, as if he has a blindfold on and I’m telling him where to step and sit. Cooper and other individuals…
Read MoreExploring the Beauty of My Son’s World
Let me show you the beauty of my son’s world. And how my perspective has greatly changed over the years. A while back, my son Cooper, who is now 12, began showing me a still frame of Dora the Explorer on his iPad. Dora happened to be wearing a purple pirate outfit. She was with her crew on a boat. They were making their way to Mermaid Rock. He has showed me Dora and her purple outfit at least a hundred times. Cooper also happens to be nonverbal. Meaning, he…
Read MoreWhat Special Needs Parents Are Really Fighting For
The comment said…It’s always about the special needs kids. You parents are always whining for them to get everything.” That comment was from a while back and it was in response to a post about how children with special needs/disabilities were forgotten during covid. A bold statement yes, but also true. The forgotten children is the phrase that I use. It was made be a lady. One the same age as me. One with kids. She felt that everything is just handed to kids in special education. The statement has…
Read MoreWhen Everyone Stares: Life with Autism
‘It feels like everyone is staring at us mom.’ That’s what my 10-year-old son said to me a few days ago. First, I’ll tell you he wasn’t wrong. Everyone was staring at us. A member of our family has a disability and while it’s not physical, meaning, you don’t ‘see’ it…. everyone sees it. Our oldest is 12 years old. On the paper in my desk drawer, it says his diagnosis is severe, level 3, nonverbal autism. It says a lot of other things too. His most recent evaluation was…
Read MoreConversations with an Extraordinary Boy
‘Thanks for coming to my conferences mama.’ Of course buddy. ‘Did you like my owl? They are nocturnal. There is a girl I like. I’m going to ask her on a date on the last day of school. Then if she says no I won’t have to see her for the whole summer.’ That’s seriously genius. But you are too young to date. ‘I’m not doing for very good in reading. I’m trying. I need to stretch the words more. But it’s hard for me.’ You are doing just fine…
Read MoreConfidence in Parenthood with a Child with Disabilities
Being a confident mother to a child with a disability didn’t always come natural to me. Even though it may appear that way. On social media. Or if you see me sitting on the ground in Target next to my son while his hands dance as he takes it all in. I may appear fearless. As I sit there, my back absorbing the stares. But often I feel out of control. Like I’m standing in a room spinning a dozen plates in the air. And praying that none fall. And…
Read MoreHalloween: Celebrate What Your Family Can Do
Today can be one of those days that can cause parents of children with special needs to take pause. To lose their breath for a second. To take notice of differences. To feel slighted. To wish it could be easier. To give up for a second. To skip it all. Halloween. For me, in those early years post diagnosis, I took comfort living in our own comfortable bubble. But days like Halloween, pulled us out. And pushed us away at the same time. We were not like the other families.…
Read MoreHalloween and Autism
When it comes to Halloween and autism….whew, there is a lot of advice out there. And have you noticed a lot of it is really intense? Like almost intimidating. A lot of it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong as a parent. Blue buckets. Signs. Saying trick-or-treat. Everyone should get candy. Do this. Not that. What I find the most interesting about all the preachy advice is that the ones giving it aren’t walking with our family on Halloween. They don’t know what works for us and what…
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