Posts by Kate Swenson
Unexpected Moments: The Magic of My Son’s Christmas Spirit
I’ve learned as I’ve aged that the biggest, most memorable moments of our lives, are often the ones we least expect. Of course a wedding, the birth of our babies, an anniversary, are the best. But other ones sneak in. When you least expect them. A solo car ride with your son. A walk with your aging parent. Staying up way too late drinking wine with your husband. Coffee with a friend. Or when your first born takes it upon himself to decorate for Christmas. Now, I know that may…
Read MoreThe Beauty of Sawyer’s Soul
Yesterday, I drove my middle son Sawyer to school. He typically rides the bus but he wanted to donate a handful of toys to the toy drive his school was holding so I drove him. ‘The toys go to Children’s Hospital mom.’ He was adamant about bringing presents. As we drove he asked me a zillion questions. As a mom, I’ve learned that some of the best conversations happen in the car. After tell me that he has a project due this week and about something he saw on YouTube,…
Read MoreWhy Positive Moments Matter in Our Autism Journey
When I share our autism story with professionals…teachers, therapists, doctors, nurses, I always say this sentence: Something you have said to a parent about their child, positive or negative, runs through their head on repeat. It’s true. Many have hardened me. Some have lightened the load. We have been told so many things. Your son will never talk, make a friend, or ride a bike. If your son doesn’t have any words by age four than game over. Your son is absolutely amazing! And then this one. One of my…
Read MoreFacing Forever: The Hardest Talks About Our Son’s Future
Parents of kids with disabilities… What is the most difficult, yet important conversation you’ve had around your child’s needs? Maybe it was around medications. Or the decision to have more children. Or to let go of education and focus on daily living skills. For my husband and I, it was around forever. It was grappling with the thought that our son will live on this earth without us. It took us years to be able to sit down and rationally speak about it. In the beginning, I’d bring it up.…
Read MoreFeet Bigger Than Mine: A Mother’s Journey with Autism
I don’t talk about our challenges associated with autism all that much any more. Some followers assume that life is easier now. Or our son is less autistic. Neither of those things are true. Cooper is still very much significantly affected. But he is also wonderfully supported. We, his family, our friends, his team, we know how to support him. And because of that…he is thriving. We all settled in as I like to say. I’m not afraid to share either. It’s not that. I have my reasons. Ones that…
Read MoreCelebrating Life with My Autistic Son
When your child is diagnosed with autism, at whatever age, you will inevitably seek out as much information as you can about the disorder. Autism Spectrum Disorder. You will read blogs, buy books, watch television shows, join groups, and talk to experts, friends, and family. You want to know everything you can. I will tell you in the beginning, what I saw in books didn’t match my son. What I saw online didn’t either. And the challenges that were supposedly coming our way….everyone was so quick to share those. What…
Read MoreEmbracing the Silence: A Mother’s Connection and Growth with Her Autistic Son
My sweet boy,We just got back from a car ride. We do that sometimes. You and me. We used to ride around to help you calm down. A much needed break for both of us to reset.Now we drive around and hunt for trains.Not a lot has changed over the years except now you are thirteen. And you can buckle your own seatbelt. A skill we worked on for years. A skill that you are incredibly proud of.We still ride mostly in silence. When you were three the experts told…
Read MoreChanging Perspectives: Why My Autistic Son Will Never Be a Burden to Our Family
Many years ago, when I was new to the world of parenting a child with a disability, and even newer to sharing our story with the world, a young woman sent me an email about her life. She shared with me that she needed help to live and to bathe and to eat. She said she had physical disabilities and was unable to care for herself independently. She told me she felt like a burden to her family. She felt saddened that she made their life harder. She spoke of…
Read MoreLearning to Bend, Not Break: Creating a Flexible Life for Your Family
It may not get easier, and some things may not get better, but you have the power to create a world that works for your family. I wish someone would have told me that when my son was first diagnosed with autism. Because, initially, and in the challenging years that followed, I will admit that we felt stuck in a lot of ways. We couldn’t do this or that. Like go to restaurants or church or fly on an airplane, go for walks, visit the mall. We said no to…
Read MoreI Will Give Him a Magical Life
Last night something monumental happened in our little world. Our middle son Sawyer had a gaggle of friends over playing and as they ran from room to room, crashing and bashing and giggling about farts and butts, our oldest son Cooper ran behind. He was the oldest of the whole group on paper. The big brother and yet not. He will be 14 in a few months. But he has no interest in Fortnite or hockey or girls. He doesn’t acknowledge the coolest shoes or ask sliding mitts. Instead he…
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