Finding Inclusion: The Power of a Birthday Invite

I remember getting many growing up.I also remember handing out birthday invitations to all of my friends. Birthday invitations were always a big part of my childhood. I grew up and had three children of my own. I had my oldest daughter when I was 25 years old, and I began throwing parties for her at age one. As she grew up, she was invited to many parties over the years.

My son was born almost six years after my oldest, and he, too, had parties and was invited to several of his friends’ birthday parties. We passed out and received so many invitations over the years, just as I had growing up.

In 2009, I gave birth to my youngest child, Olivia. In 2010, we threw her a big party for her first birthday, just as we had for her sister and brother.

I envisioned all the parties we would have with her friends from school and going to all of their parties just like her siblings did with all of their friends. However, that is not how Olivia’s story goes.

In January of 2012, Olivia was officially diagnosed with autism, and she began developmental preschool that February, on the day of her 3rd birthday.

We always gather Olivia’s immediate family and have cake for her birthday.

Sometimes we go do an activity or a small party, and sometimes we just gather at home. We plan it last minute and base it around her anxiety level and whether we believe she can tolerate a party-type setting. She has never handed out invites to classmates at school.

The sad truth is that she doesn’t really have any friends, which means she doesn’t get any birthday invitations either. She is 15 years old, and we have only gotten one birthday party invitation in all the years she has been in school.

We planned to go but couldn’t make it because she ended up being sick on the day of the party. She honestly didn’t even realize she had missed the party. Or if she did realize it, she wasn’t able to verbalize that to me.

Last weekend, I got a message that we had an invitation to a birthday party.

It was addressed to Olivia, and it melted my heart. It was not from a classmate of hers; it was from a friend who is also living this autism journey.

I actually met this friend and her son through a support page on Facebook called Coop’s Troop, through the Finding Cooper’s Voice page. Our families have met up for the last couple of years at an annual adaptive Christmas event. We plan to meet there again this year, and now we will also be seeing them at the birthday party they so graciously invited us to.

Words cannot properly articulate how much it melted my heart to get that invitation for Olivia. It will definitely take some planning and preparation, but we are so thankful and thrilled to be invited.

Nothing about this journey is simple or ordinary, but we have met some pretty kind and extraordinary people along the way.