Finding Peace After Years of Struggle: Our Autism Story
‘The best feeling is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long.’
The beginning was so hard. Before the diagnosis. The unknown. The hating myself for suspecting something was wrong.
The watching all of his peers and even younger kids pass him by. The fighting with my husband because I saw something he refused to see. The hoping it was anything but autism. Late bloomer. Boys will be boys.
Then the diagnosis. The praying it was wrong. Praying it wasn’t severe. Telling myself I could fix it. If I just did more. If I tried harder. Found the best help. More therapy. If I just gave a little bit more of myself. Offering myself no grace.
Then losing myself to autism. The worry. The forever. The severity. Acknowledging all the things we may never do. The words we might never here.
The medical struggles. The meltdowns. Lack of sleep. Oh my god the isolation. The exhaustion. The begging my husband just to take the worry for a day. A week. Just let me know he would be alright. The praying. The anger I had at god. The why him and why our family.
And finally, after years, all the services falling into place. The pieces coming together. Our family accepting and healing. Building his village. The feeling that we can take a breath. That it’s going to be okay. We can let our guard down.
Everyone has his best interests at heart.
Seeing him laugh. And smile. And be content. Join our family. Learn. Find his place. Find our place.
Realizing that our purpose is to give this amazing kid his best life. We are so blessed to have a Cooper.
The beginning was so hard. We don’t know what the future brings. And I know there will be hard parts. Scary parts. Unknown parts. This part is pretty amazing though.
