August 16, 2024
Between Two Worlds
Sometimes, parenting kids in all of their typicalness confuses me.
The curiosity. The independence. The ease.
My first baby made me a mama 13 years ago.
Then, together, we crashed into what I call the secret world of autism.
I’ve never known a second of parenting without factoring in disability.
The hyper vigilance.
The worry.
The fear.
The hope.
It’s just different.
It’s climbing play structures and always getting into the pool and holding hands and heads during a meltdown in a busy street.
It’s explaining and asking for accommodations and grace.
It’s being exposed. It’s always standing out and being brave.
It’s running. It’s never sitting. It’s a lot.
I’ve found that after 13 years, parenting with hyper vigilance comes natural to me now.
I’m always ready. I’m always one step ahead.
Today, I took my two youngest to the zoo.
They are 5 and 3.
They know to wait in line.
They understand that we don’t run into streets.
They know that stop means stop.
They listen. Not always of course, but when it matters, they do.
I don’t need to worry. Not like I do with my oldest.
They need to fly.
I often say I straddle two worlds. I am the bridge connecting autism and typical.
I’m usually stretched thin. Today I wasn’t.
We wandered. We explored. We rode the carousel.
And I relaxed.
It felt a bit strange if I’m being honest.
My oldest needs me so much. These two need me to buy the tickets.
Sometimes I feel sad. And other times, I feel lucky that I get to see both worlds. And the gifts that each have to offer.
Today was a good day.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.Read more blog posts on Finding Cooper Voice here.
